Parents reluctant to let you study abroad? How to convince them

Tell your parents how studying abroad will benefit your career

Your parents might remain unconvinced if you only talk about your desire to explore the world, make the most of your 20s, and make international friends. They might brush these reasons off as mere youthful idealism and naivety. Be prepared to come up with a case that shows that studying abroad is a serious economic investment for your future career. Here are some points you could bring up:

• Numerous studies have demonstrated that new graduates who have studied abroad secure jobs more quickly than those who haven't. They also tend to receive higher starting salaries—sometimes even 25% more!  This article on Expat Magazine highlights some of these studies. Employers place a high value on skills developed during study abroad programs: foreign language proficiency, intercultural communication, a cosmopolitan mindset, adaptability, and resilience. If your parents are worried about youth unemployment, talk to them about how a degree from abroad might be your shield against unemployment!
• Degrees earned abroad are often considered more prestigious than those earned locally – even in the same subject. If you graduate from one of the Top 500 universities worldwide, you will not only have an easier time securing a job, but you will also become eligible for visas like the High Potential Individual (HPI) visa in the UK. Even if you studied at a top university in China or Canada, you will still be eligible to work in the UK. Tell your parents about all these visa and work benefits attached to studying abroad.

Have relatives with study abroad experience speak to your parents

Your parents might not be swayed by your arguments alone, even if they are well-reasoned. They may perceive you as “too young” or “too inexperienced” to fully understand the realities “out there.” However, they are likely to trust your older cousins more. If you have older cousins who studied abroad or might still be living abroad, try enlisting their help to convince your parents. If your parents see that your cousins are thriving and that their worst fears as parents haven't happened to them, they might stop having irrational fears about you studying abroad, too.

Of course, other people besides cousins can also help. Younger aunts/uncles who have studied abroad in the last decade, family friends, and even neighbors. They should just be people whom your parents respect and trust. You can even ask your high school teacher or counselor to talk with your parents. A teacher has authority and could convince your parents that stopping you from studying abroad would mean depriving you of excellent opportunities. They could bring up examples of alums from your school who had remarkable careers after studying abroad.

A woman from a conservative family? Look into women-only colleges

Conservative families can be more protective of their daughters than sons. They might worry that a daughter out of her teens or in her 20s might have a dating or sex life that they do not approve of when she is abroad. Of course, every adult should be able to have the love life they want without meddling from their family, but this is tricky to handle when you are 18-25 and still partly dependent on your family. They can also worry about their daughter's safety, as young women are generally more vulnerable to violence (especially sexual violence) than men.

One way to reduce your conservative family's apprehensions as a young woman is to apply to women-only institutions abroad. Her parents might have greater peace of mind this way. In many countries, there are historical universities or colleges within universities that accept only female students. Many of them were founded back when other universities would not accept women at all. Here are some of these countries and universities/colleges:

• The US has many historically women-only colleges. Women's College Coalition (WCC) lists most of them. Some of them are among the most highly-ranked liberal arts colleges and are nearly on the same level as Ivy League universities. As they tend to be private, they can also offer generous funding to international students. A few prestigious women-only colleges are Barnard College in New York City (affiliated with Columbia University), Wellesley College and Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts, and Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania.
• In India, many women-only universities or colleges within universities were established around the time of independence. These include the prestigious Lady Shri Ram College and Miranda House within the University of Delhi. There even exist STEM or engineering schools that accept only women, such as the Indira Gandhi Technical University for Women.
• South Korea has 14 higher education institutions that only women can attend. These include Duksung Women's University and Dongduk Women's University, two well-established universities in the capital Seoul.
• Japan has also historically had many women-only universities, although many of them have become co-educational in the last few years. There are currently around 70 women-only tertiary educational institutions. The oldest and largest one is Japan's Women's University, which has existed since 1901. Another prestigious one is Tsuda University.
• China has about 10 women-only universities. These include China Women's University in Beijing and Shandong Women's University in Jinan.
• The UAE has many women-only universities. Among these are the Abu Dhabi Women's College (ADWC), which teaches technology and other applied STEM subjects as part of the wider Higher Colleges of Technology (HTC) system, and the Dubai Medical College for Girls. The UAE might be a good choice for young Muslim women whose conservative families are reluctant to let them study abroad in non-Muslim countries.

Apply to destinations where you have family — or where there are many students of the same background as you

Applying to destinations where you have family members might make your family feel less worried. If you want to study abroad in a city where an aunt/uncle also lives, this can make your parents feel that there is someone who can keep an eye on you there and help you in case of an emergency. They might panic more if you want to study in a destination where they know absolutely no one.

But what if you do want to study in a destination that your parents are unfamiliar with and don't know anyone in? Here are some arguments you can use to try to convince them:

• Studying somewhere that's “unusual” for people from your country will make your CV unique! A unique CV will make you have a competitive edge in the job market. If you are Nigerian, for instance, studying abroad in the UK might be common among your peers. But what about studying in Brazil or Japan? It is rarer, and it will give you linguistic and cultural skills that most of your peers do not have.
• Find clubs and hangouts for people of the same ethnicity or faith as you in the study destination, and tell your parents about these. If you are a Muslim international student who wants to study in Texas, for instance, your parents might be worried about Islamophobia in this Republican American state. Look for Muslim Students Associations (called MSAs) in large public universities in Texas to reassure your parents that you will be able to find a Muslim community to protect you there. You could even email these MSAs and mosques in the area to ask questions before even making a final decision to study there. All MSAs across the US and Canada are part of a larger umbrella organization, which you can also contact.

Seek out funding/scholarships to ease your family's financial concerns

Your parents might have reasonable financial worries. You should understand that their “no” might not be trying to restrict your freedom or “ruin your life” — they simply might not have the financial means to fund an international education. They do not want to get into debt by taking out an educational loan, or they might be saving for their retirement.

In that case, you could look up funding opportunities or scholarships. This article in Expat Magazine lists some of the most prestigious scholarships that are open to most international students. Also email the admissions departments of private universities abroad; they tend to have more freedom to offer funding to non-domestic (i.e. international students) on a case-by-case basis than public universities.

In case you do not win any funding or scholarships, don't despair. You can always re-apply after a few years. In the meantime, you can work in your country to save money. You can also complete your undergraduate degree at home and go abroad later for your Master's or PhD. There is often more funding available for research postgraduate degrees than for undergraduate ones because you work part-time for the university then (as a researcher and Teaching Assistant).