Interview with Jen Barnett: Insights on living abroad and cultural integration

Please introduce yourself and tell us about your background.

I'm Jen Barnett, the co-founder of Expatsi. I've been an entrepreneur and marketer for 32 years. I'm from Birmingham, Alabama, and until I moved abroad, I spent my whole life in the southern US.

What made you want to leave the US?

I became interested in living in another country when my first-grade class held a France week. I tried to move there in 1992 and didn't realize how complex it was! In 2016, my partner and I started talking about moving abroad to escape the political environment and division in the US and because we wanted to experience new cultures.

Where are you based currently, and what brought you there?

We're in Mérida, Yucatán, Mexico. We chose countries to consider based on data about countries that matched our own criteria for a new home: weather, cost of living, healthcare, human rights, and others. We turned that data into a quiz called the Expatsi Test that recommends the top 10 countries for you.

Mexico was in our own top 10, and we chose Mérida based on some TikTok videos we saw that looked incredible. Once we visited, we were in love.

How was the culture shock for you when arriving in Mexico? How did you overcome it? 

It's not so bad for us because we get tickled by awkward situations. We recently took a pilates class in Spanish, and it was also Brett's first class ever. We treated ourselves to dessert afterward as a reward for doing two hard things at once. In general, the language barrier is the hardest part for us, but we take Spanish classes and are getting better poco a poco, as they say.

And what are your tips for US expats to overcome culture shock?

Manage your expectations. Be patient with yourself and others. Learn the language at the pace you can handle. Find the right mix of new and old. For example, if you try a new dish you've never eaten, reward yourself the next day with an old favorite. If you've spent a lot of time working on your new language, treat yourself to a rerun of an American show.

What, in your opinion, makes people want to leave the US, and where do they usually go? What do they seek in a foreign country?

Among people who take the Expatsi Test, about 70% say they want to leave for adventure and personal growth. I'm glad most people want to leave for positive reasons. The top reasons driving people away are the US being too divided, the threat of gun violence, the high cost of living, and the US being too conservative.

In other countries, they're seeking rights like abortion access, gay marriage, and legal cannabis. They're also looking for the top 25% of countries for healthcare, safety, and infrastructure. Many would prefer mild weather year-round, and their top region is Western Europe.

In your opinion, what are the best destinations for American expats, and why?

The most important thing to us is finding the best destination for each person because everyone's needs are so unique. The Netherlands is great for entrepreneurs who want the northern European lifestyle. Mexico has everything for people who want art, culture, and food on a retirement or remote work income, especially if they want to be close to the US or move quickly. Spain is great all around for retirees, freelancers, young families, women, and LGBTQ+ folks who want to live in the sun. We think Estonia, Slovenia, Albania, and Uruguay are underrated.

What are the major things to look out for when planning a move abroad? How do you help with such plans?

We like helping people figure out the best countries for them on paper, but there's no substitute for visiting. We'd originally planned to move to Canada ourselves, but when we visited, it didn't feel like home.

We host tours where you do things that normal residents do and experience a variety of towns and neighborhoods. We started with Spain and Portugal, and we're adding France, Italy, and Mexico next. We tour expat-friendly towns and neighborhoods, do ordinary things like visit the pharmacy or market, and tour real estate.

Everyone talks about taxes, but you have to go see firsthand what you'd be paying for. You may find it's worth it!

We also have a seminar with an immigration attorney, tax accountant, real estate agent, healthcare broker, and other professionals.

What are the most common mistakes that people make when planning their move?

They get fixated on countries that are incredibly difficult to move to, like the UK, or they make too many changes at once, like moving abroad plus changing careers. We recommend making as few simultaneous changes as possible. Do your foundational work (planning, saving money, therapy) in the US before you move.

What are the major challenges for US expats when it comes to integrating into a foreign country?

Certainly, don't expect it to be like the US! That's a recipe for disaster. If you want the US, stay in the US. Come to your new country with an open heart, expecting to learn things. Listen rather than talk. There are so many things other countries do better than the US and one of my favorites is not being so driven by money. It can be frustrating for Americans who expect everyone to serve them because they're paying. 

We talk to a lot of people who are nervous about making friends or building a community, but I think it's much easier to make friends abroad. It's like being a freshman in college — everyone is new and novel, and you have a lot in common with other expats. Many of our friends are also Mexicans who have American ties, like studying or having family there.

Is there any particular advice you would give people planning to move abroad?

Do it! We don't regret a moment. Don't stress about finding the perfect place immediately, just find a place that's “good enough” and continue your search from there. Don't buy a home unless it's required for your visa.

Is there anything you wish you had known before making the move? Is there anything you would have known differently?

We may be too new to know this yet. The only thing I'd have done differently right now is to move sooner!