A former high school teacher from the US, Kelly recently went back to school to study marketing. Mum of two and married to a Dane, she currently lives in a small town in Denmark. Here's her story.
Can you please introduce yourself and tell us about your background?
My name is Kelly, and I am from the USA. I used to work as a high school teacher, but I recently just went back to school in Denmark to study marketing. I will be done in June 2021. I am married to a Dane, and we have two boys.
What brought you to Denmark?
My Danish husband and I had been living in the USA, where he worked for a Danish company. He heard of a job in a different company in Denmark, and he was very interested in applying. We had thought that it would be nice to move to Denmark at some point in time so that our boys would learn what it means to be Danish. He was offered the job, and we moved a few months later.
How does it feel to be a trailing spouse in Denmark?
At first, I didn't notice that I was a trailing spouse. I was just trying to get to know my new town and find things in the grocery store. Everything was new, so it took me some time to adjust. Many trailing spouses are bored in Denmark, but I started Danish classes one month after moving here. Then, I found a job and worked all day and had language school twice a week at night. Life was pretty busy for me to think of myself as a trailing spouse, so I don't think I quite felt that way.
From a veteran teacher to a student in marketing management, how do you explain this change, and what are you expecting from it?
I really enjoyed my 16 years as a teacher, but there were issues that I couldn't overlook at the place I was working. I decided to quit my job and take some time to work on my blog and start a YouTube channel. I really enjoyed both activities, but there were many things that I felt I would benefit from learning about. I found a marketing program in English that was close to where I lived, and I thought that it could only give me more options later on to find a job, since there aren't that many international schools near where I live in Jylland. I am hoping to improve my work on my blog, and I am hoping that my new degree will open doors to a new job in Denmark.
Are there any prospects for expats in Denmark in these times of crisis?
I really don't know. As of now, I am in an internship. I was lucky to find one, since many places have had to let people go due to budget cuts that have come from corona. I think that the winter months were worse, but it seems that there are more places that are hiring these last few months. I have heard from many other expats that it is hard for them to find jobs even though they have lots of education. I have not started to look for a job, so I am not sure what it will be like for me. I know that it is tough if you don't have a strong network in Denmark. Knowing people who can put in a good word for you is key in Denmark. I have been working on growing my network in Denmark for this reason. Sometimes, I feel that you can be the most qualified person for a job, but many places may be more likely to hire a Dane over a foreigner. At least, that is how it has seemed when I applied for internships.
Was it hard to adapt to Denmark? What were the major hurdles, and how did you overcome them?
I think the biggest hurdle of living in Denmark is how lonely it is. I live in a small town where there aren't many others like me. People who choose to live here usually are married to Danes who are from the town with a large group of family and friends to lean on. That isn't my situation. My Danish husband isn't from this area, so I was alone when I came here. It would have been nice to have someone help me with the shopping and to understand where I can go to buy different things. Sometimes, I still feel like I don't know where to go to buy certain things. I have started to make friends with the other parents at my kids' school. I really miss my American family, but starting to lean on these other parents has really helped me find support in a different way. My mother-in-law has recently moved about an hour away, which is closer. This has been helpful to have her visit more often.
What about your children, in terms of socialisation and education?
I have two boys. One is in 4th grade, and the other in 2nd grade. When we moved here, they were 6 and 3. They don't remember much of what life in the USA was like. They remember more the visits instead of life before Denmark. They have great friends here, love school, and are active in the community. When we first moved here, it took them about 6 months to learn the language, but making friends is easier for children in daycare. They don't have as much pressure, and the teachers talked to them in Danish the entire time, even though they didn't understand. It all worked out in the end, and now, you would never know that they weren't born here.
Do you think that moving to Denmark is the best thing you could have done for your children?
I don't think that we really moved here for them. They would have done just fine in the USA. I know that they would have been further along in reading and writing in very good schools in the USA. However, things are safer here, and they have the chance to live a childhood much like what I did in the 1980s in the USA. Honestly, I think that both places would be good choices for my children. There are pros and cons for both places. We do like their school here, so I can't complain.
One of your favourite activities is to feed your blog about life in Denmark. How does it help?
There are two main areas to my blog: one section for expat life and the other is about travel. I think that the expat section has been helpful for me to tell my story about true life experiences in Denmark. I know that everyone has their own unique story, and I like to share mine on my blog to help others who may be having similar struggles as what I had when I moved to Denmark. I think it could be helpful for them to know that they aren't alone. I also like to look back at my posts later on and realize that things have gotten much better over the years. My travel section has really helped me feel more at home in Denmark. My family and I try to explore new areas of Denmark and experience different attractions and aspects of Danish culture. Having a trip always in our future is something we look forward to, and it has helped us develop a sense of fondness and pride for where we live. I also like to share my posts with other families who are looking for the same types of kid-friendly places. I am glad to offer them some great recommendations.
Travelling and experiencing new things with your family is another thing that you love. So how did you cope with the lockdown?
Lockdown has been interesting, to say the least. Because I always have something to write about or talk about on my YouTube channel, I haven't found much downtime during the corona times. It has been nice to be "stuck" at home to get some of these things done for my channel, but we have been longing for the day to get out and do something new. Being a full-time mom and full-time college student/intern while being the only person behind my blog and YouTube channel has given me lots to do, so I haven't really felt the cabin fever as much as others. It is also very helpful that we live in our own home in a small town very near a forest. We spend a lot of time in nature going for walks, which is not the same as traveling, but it has been very nice anyway.
Is there anything that you miss from your home country?
Of course. There are too many things to mention. The big ones would be family and friends. I haven't made many connections here like I have with those in the USA. I think that if I lived closer to other Americans, things would be different, but corona also doesn't help with that. I also miss the excitement of things to do in the USA. There was always a celebration or a place to go. We had our favorite restaurants, and since we lived in a larger town, we had many more shops to go to. I also miss the food. There is just something comforting about home-style cooking. I often dream of real American food!
What would you advise anyone who would like to relocate to Denmark after the crisis?
I think it would be hard to move to Denmark during corona times. If you are coming from a place where there was a lot to do, you might have a hard culture shock moving to Denmark, where many things are closed or restricted. It is also somewhat difficult to make friends with Danes, and since corona has made it more important for us to keep to ourselves, I can only see that it might be harder in the future to break through that barrier. I would recommend that they look to the internet to join groups of expats living in Denmark. Facebook also has groups for different nationalities in Denmark, which might be a good place to ask questions. I would also suggest that they don't come to Denmark with high expectations. We have been living a life with no knowledge of how things will end with corona, so it is very hard to be as prepared as one would like to be when moving abroad. It is just important to know that things will all work out and that patience is key to living a stress-free life. Denmark is really a great place to live, but people might not see that if they are focusing too much on all it doesn't have due to corona.
