My Moroccan in-law saga

@Penniewisellc

you have been taken for a ride. this is not in anyway normal in morocco. you seem like you are married to the whole family and you are only needed to provide for all of them until they no longer need you. i would run if i was you.

You are totally been used by the family and your wife  im surprised your still with here. This is not nornal.

some people will never learn a lesson. It makes me feel very very sad. The world we live in

@Penniewisellc doesnt seem right to me either. how long have been married? are you permanently living in Morocco?

@MrT786 we married late 2022, I live temporarily in Morocco like 3 months out the year. I was going to bring her to America right away but I saw certain things which were not in my favor so I decided to build a life in Morocco instead until we have children

@Penniewisellc i seriously would not consider buying a property in Morocco unless you plan on living there yourself. and if you do decide to buy a property there, be sure to buy it in your name only. as this will make things less complicated in the future should any problems arise between you and your wife.  also, consider the fact that its easy to bring money into Morrocco but taking it back out is difficult, given various tax implications. given your current concerns regarding you covering the living costs for your wifes' family, i would reconsider your situation. you may wish to speak to your wife regarding this. its fair that you would cover the living costs for your wife, and give her expenses, a wife is entitled to that from her husband, but to cover all the costs for her family to live in their residence (i'm assuming they had the residence before you married your wife) doesnt seem right to me. why should you pay for their residence. you married your wife, not the whole family. finally, before you decide to have children with your wife, i think you may wish to decide where you will be living (you mention you spend 3 months in Morroco). bringing children into the world is a huge responsibility and children need both parents to bring them up. if your just in Morrocco for 3 months of the year, thats not fair on your wife or the children. finally, why would you not take her to America to live with you? what things did you see that you did not like?

@MrT786 she was secretly taking birth control without my knowledge, she couldn't give me any reason why she was taking it even though before marriage I assured her unless she's ready to have kids we won't have kids

@Penniewisellc Reading this thread I’m not sure you really want advice considering you’ve already married someone you have doubts about?

Then to fork out rent, utilities, business start-up funds to the family etc..and wonder why you feel used?

If you want to pay for the extended family - thats a personal choice. If you’re asking if this is ’normal in Morocco’ - the answer is no. Of course not!

My advice - put the house in your name and use your own notary - not a ’Moroccan family friend’ or you can say goodbye to your $$$. Be present for all conversations and transactions involving your money or you can’t be surprised if its lost.

Lastly, if you do not speak Darija - get an independent  interpreter (not a family friend).

Best of luck!

@sgrab well said, and good advice. i agree with you.

@penniewisellc your wife is probably being sensible in taking birth control. even if you agreed not to have children for the time being, accidents do happen. maybe decide on your future intentions and get things in order before you decide to have children

@MrT786W wouldn't it be wise to tell your partner that you are taking birth control? I mean imagine if couples start doing things secretly without telling their partner 🤷. If she was being force to have kids it's one things but I disagree for a wife to take birth control without tell her husband, where's the trust

@MrT786

Thanks!

I am not Moroccan but have A LOT of experience in Morocco. I am also a notary and blessed alhamdulillah with lovely inlaws and dear friends in this beautiful country.

I have seen MANY proceed without caution and pay the price. The mindset is just different and one has to put ll sentimentality aside with serious life choices like cross-cultural marriage & spending money in foreign countries.

All the best!

@Penniewisellc

if as a foreigner you have a relationship or marry a moroccan many families will expect you to pay and pay because they will think you have alot of money.

i think it is fair to help out the parents a bit but your wifes brother is definitely not your responsibility at all and he should be helping his parents.Be careful,draw some boundaries

The brother in the family home is responsible for their bills not your wife,  culturally this is standard   So buy a home in your name only as previous poster wrote use only your chosen notary not their suggestion   

@Penniewisellc

No it's just being greedy. You don't have responsibility to the WHOLE family unless you can afford and want to!!

My morrocaan "husband" has me paying and supporting his lifestyle by force. I will divorce him ASAP because this greedy nature is not normall

They want to collect as much money from "foreigners"via marriage. So sure buy as much as you can and if you leave no one will care because they are well looked after. If you accept that everyone wants security and some people lie and fake relationships to gain this materialistic advantage, then enjoy the moment and pay it as a charity, else accept.nothing will be enough and it will be a money pit

@Aliya55 I am glad I am able to see through their BS, they almost had me fool. 🤣

@penniewisellc i do see your point. perhaps your wife should have discussed the birth control with you. trust takes time to build. maybe you guys just need more time to build that

This is not normal, she don`t have the right to tell you to pay for everyone.

If you like its ok, even for his brother it`s not your duty to do that.

You need to be strict.

@MrT786 She was secretly taking birth control before the marriage I told her we will have kids only when she's ready and wants kids. Her response was we can have kids whenever because she ready only to find out during our honeymoon she was taking birth control, she denied it wasn't birth control so I Google and also went to verify from the pharmacy and it was birth control, she is yet to give me a reason why she was taking it.