Your experience of culture shock in Belgium

I don't really have any particular "culture shock" stories or "funny" or "awkward" moments to share. 

What "not to do" and "what to do" will depend on who you are dealing with, the situation you are in, etc., so that's not so easy to answer in a few sentences.  I don't put all Belgians into one box and say all of them act the same way or have the same lifestyle, etc.  I deal with people on a individual basis............I am looking at the character of someone; not per se his/her culture and take that more into consideration when interacting with natives.

I will say this:

Be open-minded and don't constantly make comparisions between what you've left behind and where you are at now with the natives here and/or come here wanting the natives to adapt to your ways and language.  You left your country for a reason, so keep that in mind.  Wanting and seeking a new way of life in Belgium entails change and you should put forth the effort to do that, but don't expect all that to happen overnight.  It takes time, patience and perseverance.

Respect goes along way and what better way to respect the natives than to learn about them and accept how they are.  I am not saying you must agree with everything they do and say here, but you should accept their differences.  Learning the language of the area in which you live is a good start.  Learning and understanding Belgian laws/regulations, learning about their history, learning about Belgian cuisine, etc..........the more you know the better off you will be living here.   Respect also goes both ways.  The natives should respect foreigners who do come here and put effort into integrating and respect the fact that doesn't happen overnight.  If you are a native and can't be helpful, then you also don't need to be a hindrance to a foreigner who is genuinely trying to find his/her way here. 

Don't always focus on the differences.  Sometimes we just need to realise people are people.  Try to find some commonalities with the natives.  I am sure you can find a least a couple of things. 

Get out of your comfort zone and mingle with the natives.  I am not saying you will score loads of native friends, but it will help you with your integration.  It helps tremendously with you language skills. 

Find something fun to do everyday for yourself.  Try not to take everything so serious.

I have left Belgium now but recall how much it changed my life for the better, generally speaking. There is one issue that I find was completely restricting though. I was the manner how Belgium deals with immigrants and the interaction with jobs. While you do need legislation to control that the manner in which it is written currently likely does as much harm as good and thereby is a source of crime in the communities that congregate where they can eke out a living. All of the first world nations that have fit economies attract immigrants often based on the profile of providing for their families, in an ideal world that would be secondary to other more important issues but the current trend is quite well entrenched. If I had the opportunity to provide for myself I would have been less anxious and more productive, a state that provides for all. Ah yes, I did not fully understand the politics when I came and likely still don't but, does anyone? Belgium does well for it's residents but the immigrants do not operate with the same set of rules although it is generally assumed they do. There is discrimination but it is mostly subtle with occasional flares. The difficulties of assimilating another culture are complex and it seems that the norm today is to expect that your culture should be accepted without question, it was not that way in the past. Immigration has changed, the emphasis has shifted, it is infinitely more complicated than a century ago.
So, as it goes mine was not so much a culture shock as a wave of awareness that swept over me and engulfed who I was and made my life just a bit more difficult when it seemed it did not have to. I would return in a minute should the stars align for me again. Thank you Belgium!

"Awareness" is the perfect word.

There is no culture shock , everything is the same all over the world.

In Europe, I've only lived in France and Belgium. Comparing to the French people, the Belgian one is more tolerant and he's peaceful.

In my opinion the first thing is to change your mindset in case you go to a country other than yours.
First you have to accept the culture is different than yours. Even in your country you do sometimes feel you do not fit perfectly to the culture.
Second, you have to adopt yourself to the new culture in order to have success in your business and social life. If you go out while heavily raining you have to take an umbrella. That simple. Otherwise you should be ready to face the consequences.
Third you should be aware of the fact that there is no best culture in the world. Every culture has its cons and procons in itself. Try to discover the positive side and take advantage out of it.
Additionally ;
Stop critisizing the culture. It does not help. 
Try to understand the reasons behind the differences. It helps you too much to tolerate.
Be objective while observing
Do not try to discover every cultural aspect from scratch by yourself. Get the help of locals.

If you are in Belgium. there is no one culture. Walloons and Flemish people are different from each other in their ways of doing business and social relationships.

Generally I would say, Try to avoid religious issues or issues related to the tensions between the regions of Belgium; do not criticize the monarchy. Demonstrate a positive orientation toward Europe. They have strong family ties. respect this. They like individualism. Leave a space for them and do not enter too much to their personal life unless invited by themselves.

Burak

I'm free to state what I want to say. Am in Europe not in Turkey. ok?

Dear Mohammad,

You are always free to express your opinion. Do not hesitate. I just expressed my opinion with regards to nice invitation coming from Christine to answer the question ''what is your advice regarding the don'ts'' and I do easily expect that you respect me expressing my own ideas eventhough you do not share my opinion, since you are a supporter of speech freedom.You are always welcome not to share my opinion because of some reasons, however I do not understand your offense and establish a connection between my individual opinion and Turkey, while the subject is culture shock in Belgium.

Coming back to the topic, you are always free to express whatever opinion you have. For example in your relations, you can say to your wife or girlfriend whatever you think about her, her family etc... but believe me it does matter what you say, how to say, when you say, even you are together with the most liberal woman in the world.(or husband/boyfriend) if you value your relation and maintain it. Everyone has sensitive values, she or he doesn't want to be critised that much. We have always listen and respect the opinions of others, but if we do not like them we do not have to continue a close relation. Would you like to be together with somebody who criticizes your wife and children very heavily eventhough you might think they are right to a certain extent. I don't think so because you value them. Like in our case cultures have some issues they don't want to be criticised that much although they may see it as a problematic issue between themselves. If we are talking about adoptation to a different culture basic rules of relationship are valid in my opinion. It is my advice but everybody is free to take it or not.

I have many, but one big one is the size of one serving of food...

It - is -  L A R G E !

I still am half scared when the waiter brings in the food I order. I hate waste and would rather pay for more for a smaller serving than pay for less with a large serving.

Another big one is the language. I have to totally simplify my spoken English to be understood. But now that I speak Dutch, I could polish my English again back to normal.

@Burak

I think I agree with the first half of your post. But I don't entirely agree with the part of being uncritical of a foreign culture. Any analytical and observant person would try to understand oddities of a culture. For this it is important to discuss all aspects of a culture - even the negative ones, even religion and the monarchy. I would not like to leave my critical thinking behind just because I am a foreigner.

At the same time I understand that there's a time and place for discussing controversial subjects and must be done with equally open minded people, lest one gets into trouble.

Secondly, there can be many things in a culture for which tolerance is ill advised. Tolerating everything is not a good idea. For example, in India there's a culture of dowry but no one should tolerate it.

If one would systematically avoid talking about everything that can potentially lead to a debate, then one would only end up having a superficial knowledge of a place because deeper topics have been avoided.

But yes, as I said I agree with the first half of your message.

I lived in Belgium from Jue 2012 through October  2014.  Looking back, I found Belgium culture to be difficult.  I am a non-white American Muslim.  There was a lack of flexibility at work.  I found myself struggling to get to stores before they closed so I ended up always doing my shopping early Saturday morning.  Waking up early on Saturday morning was very difficult.  Everything seems to shutdown @ 18:00 mon - friday, Saturdays at 13:00, and Sunday nothing is open.  I am use to stores being open very late or 24 hours.  Although I have found some polite and compassionate Belgium people, unfortunately most were the the complete opposite.  I didn't immigrate to Belgium or even look to work in Belgium.  I was offered a job there and so I felt it might be a fun experience.  I felt very issolated and culturally akward.  I have lived in Germany, Spain, and a short time in Morocco and France.  In these places, I didn't have this experience.  Belgium is not as diverse or ethnically mixed as I am familiar with.  There were some communities where I felt comfortable shopping and eating but that's not what I am referring to.  I held a professional job.  I was the only person of color.  I lived in a neighborhood in the city center where my wife and I were the only people of color.  Sometimes, I felt like I went back in time especially during the Christmas holidays.  I could not believe that Belgium people find it nice to paint there faces  black and pretend to be Black people.    I was shocked and found it to be offensive.  I might visit Belgium again but I would never choose to live there again.  I found Belgium to more expensive than advertised by the relocation specialist.  I found that public transportation was not as inexpensive as advertised either.  I could go on and on about some things.  In my opinion, if you're coming from an Eastern European country, or even a third world country, you might find it to be fantastic because you are use to so much less.

These are my personal opinions and I apologize if I have offended anyone.  It was not my intent.  I was sharing my experience.

@ IWS

I think you made some valid points especially in regards to people of color.  I've even met people here who have never interacted with people of color.  I was totally shocked and I find that strange being we are living in the 21 century.

IWS wrote:

I lived in Belgium from Jue 2012 through October  2014.  Looking back, I found Belgium culture to be difficult.  I am a non-white American Muslim.  There was a lack of flexibility at work.  I found myself struggling to get to stores before they closed so I ended up always doing my shopping early Saturday morning.  Waking up early on Saturday morning was very difficult.  Everything seems to shutdown @ 18:00 mon - friday, Saturdays at 13:00, and Sunday nothing is open.  I am use to stores being open very late or 24 hours.  Although I have found some polite and compassionate Belgium people, unfortunately most were the the complete opposite.  I didn't immigrate to Belgium or even look to work in Belgium.  I was offered a job there and so I felt it might be a fun experience.  I felt very issolated and culturally akward.  I have lived in Germany, Spain, and a short time in Morocco and France.  In these places, I didn't have this experience.  Belgium is not as diverse or ethnically mixed as I am familiar with.  There were some communities where I felt comfortable shopping and eating but that's not what I am referring to.  I held a professional job.  I was the only person of color.  I lived in a neighborhood in the city center where my wife and I were the only people of color.  Sometimes, I felt like I went back in time especially during the Christmas holidays.  I could not believe that Belgium people find it nice to paint there faces  black and pretend to be Black people.    I was shocked and found it to be offensive.  I might visit Belgium again but I would never choose to live there again.  I found Belgium to more expensive than advertised by the relocation specialist.  I found that public transportation was not as inexpensive as advertised either.  I could go on and on about some things.  In my opinion, if you're coming from an Eastern European country, or even a third world country, you might find it to be fantastic because you are use to so much less.

I don't know where in Belgium you lived but I understand your situation. Specially at the countryside you can find some small villages where people live all their life and don't see anything of the world.

Paining faces black and pretend to be black people: I guess you are referring to Sinterklaas en Zwarte Piet?
A cultural feast for children which has a long history that started in Spain. If you know the history and the traditions of this event then you understand. This feast is very popular in Belgium and in the Netherlands, and in some parts of Germany. It has nothing to do with discrimination although there are some protest, specially in the Netherlands, that some people think its indeed offensive. But discussing this is maybe for another topic as I tend to get off topic.

Hasselt09 wrote:

@ IWS

I think you made some valid points especially in regards to people of color.  I've even met people here who have never interacted with people of color.  I was totally shocked and I find that strange being we are living in the 21 century.

Not everyone has the chance to get in touch with people from a different race. You find these people everywhere, specially in small villages in the countryside.
I can say that I am shocked that you are shocked by this experience 

IWS, I totally get what you are saying and appreciate you sharing your experience.      

It's nice to read the comments and opinions of others who actually live or have lived in Belgium as the the topic is "cultural shock" in Belgium.

Great topic Christine.

Hello.  I lived in the Flanders region outside of Ghent and it was not a small community.  I would prefer not to site the city.  There are issues regarding the complexities of race all over the world so I don't thing the worst of Belgium.  It is what it is.  I don't even know if I faced racism.  I thing me being a foreigner was the greater problem for those around me in my professional and home environments. 

In my humble opinion, the general attitude about foreigners there is harsh.  It's never comfortable when you're the odd man out and I understand it takes time.  I think there's a process of proving yourself or your worthiness.  Maybe, if I were to have hung in there for a few more years, I could have overcome specific obstacles, i.e. colleagues, neighbors, etc. 

Maybe I gave up early. 

Outside of that, I think Belgium is beautiful and I will definitely return on holiday.  Its proximity to other countries makes it a perfect place to live/visit from a tourist perspective.  I think the young people there are fantastic.  Most seem tolerable and very open minded. I never felt scared or worried about walking alone during the day/night in comparison to other places I have been.

My last post was gloomy, a bit like Belgium weather -hahaha,  I wanted to post something a little more positive.  I would never want to scare anyone from visiting or living in your beautiful country based on my or any one person's opinions and experiences. 

I think we should all be open minded and give people/places the benefit of doubt at least once.  In some cases, two, three, or even four times (hahahaha).

Warmest regards,

IWS

Hi everybody,

I would like to remind you all that the culture shock of some members can be positive or negative, however it is important for all of us to respect each and everyone's opinion. We are not here to argue or to make criticism about what is being posted here.

Also make sure that we are not generalizing or going off topic when we are posting on this topic please, as this might lead to some inflammatory debates which are obviously not helpful.

Thank you,

Priscilla 

Hey everyone

So I have been in Belgium for about 2 weeks now. I am an Indian female, 28 (due to my generic facial features, body and the many languages I speak, people have a hard time spotting if I am latina or Indian or something else). I am suffering from kidney disease and need dialysis in Belgium (and in life) to stay alive. I live in Brussels.

Now with some background about me, I can tell you guys that I was very pleasantly surprised at how poilte people here can be.

Everyone on my first day at the hospital was getting up from their seats and running about left, right and center to make sure I didn't have to pay for my treatment and had time to obtain a health cover. My doctor at the hosital wrote up a special letter to the police officers explaining my situation and requesting expedited process of my registration as a foreigner in Belgium.

When the police officer read the letter from my doctor he gave me a paper on the spot that would usually take many more days to arrive.

At the commune, there was a very nice lady who listened to why I needed everything done so quick and she processed my file immediately. I got my requisite paper today and with that I purchased my health insurance.

Then the nice guy at the health insurance company told me that he can back date my insurance if I get him the composition de menage (however you spell that) so even my earlier treatments from today get covered.

I mean all these people spoke reasonable or passable English and tried REALLY their best to help me. They even skipped steps to make sure I wasn't drowning in medical bills. I was very very humbled by that. In India, I would be slapping bribes at every step to get things done.

Now in the day to day life in Brussels, my experience has been quite alright as well. I find that I am not at all unique here as a foreigner which is great. There are people of color everywhere here (not so many brown people like myself though, when I think of it). I don't face any particular obstacles because of being a foreigner, more like because I can't speak french or am plain stupid at times (e.g. - cutting the bread in the funny machine at the stores is new to me).

I am very happy here so far. But may be because I am with my husband who is the love of my life, I have an apartment I love and a beautiful city around me (a change from New Delhi which is the most polluted city in the world).

My husband is Dutch so I know about that painting faces black thing, but for me - only intentions can be racist not things. Also, I am VERY hard to offend as I carry around giant balls of steel:D

I don't necessarily feel the need to find my ethnic community to feel comfortable anywhere, but living in a diverse place is a nice experience. When I meet people here or in any other European cities, I only have reasonable and contained expectations that they should have met people of color. I mean, if I transpose the situation to India, I would really not expect the villagers or even people in non-major cities in India to have ever met a foreigner. So I agree with Primadonna here.

I don't find Brussels fantastic because I come from a third world country (lol) (I have stayed long term in Rotterdam and Frankfurt as well so I have first world parameters as well), I find it nice because I haven't got anything to complain about so far.