Valentine's day

Good evening
It's a very complicated subject, How can I say that.
The thing is that for you it's easy because it's not forbiden in your religion to celebrate some of islam events, but it is haram for a muslim to celebrate other religion events.
And believe me it's not about respect, islam respect all religions, everybody is free to believe what he wants, but we cannot celebrate that with you, we cannot say happy new year, nor happy valentines, not because we do not respect these celebrations, but because it(s simply haram to do it.
I know it's difficult for non muslim to understand that but this is the way it is.

wish you the best with your husband

Interesting matter and subject....

Thanx tarikkk for your info and feelings expressed on this ...if I'm non muslim and I'm happy to wish him well at Eid etc I just don't know why he can't just say happy Valentine's day to make me feel he's acknowledging it for my sake...

Thanx for your comment mokahmunky

This is exactly what I said, it is because it's haram in Islam, a lot of prophete hadiths prohibite that, but there is nothing like that in the bible I think.
If he will say you that he will do  something prohibited and that will not please Allah, do you want him to do that ??? is this respect of his religion, on the other hand it will not please you too, I am sure he knows that very well but he has to do this choice, and I think he chose....

I don't want to ask him to do something he's not happy to do..but I do think he may expect more of me than I of him..Why would a muslim man choose to marry a non muslim woman when he knows issues may arise ..😟

It also leaves me wondering will he be happy to celebrate Christmas with me in Morocco ?..I don't think so...so again I have to give up what I have been used to all my life...but he won't change anything to please me ?..time will tell...I want a peaceful life with him..but be free to celebrate my traditions too

Just for information Valentines Day is not a 'religious event' so it cant be Haram.
I recently sent a birthday card to a moroccan friend and it is the first one he has ever received. Card sending on your birthday is Not something that is done in morocco , also I asked if he had received any gifts from his family and was informed no, he bought his mother a dress, to celebrate her giving birth to him. Not sure if this is custom, tradition or simply how his family works.
regards Peta

Every day must be , a Valentine s day...

Lynn19 wrote:

Why would a muslim man choose to marry a non muslim woman when he knows issues may arise ..😟

This is exactly the problem of mixed marriages, I think this kind of things must be duscussed before marriage, and I agree with you it must be clarified by him because you can't predict these things.

phoenixinuk wrote:

Just for information Valentines Day is not a 'religious event' so it cant be Haram.

I totaly agree with you Valentines day is not a religious day but it's worse, it's a pure commercial one, (like most of others by the way) and this doesn't change the fact that it is haram, every celebrating day but the 2 muslim Eids is haram in Islam.
Don't think that because your Moroccan friend accept to celebrate this kind of days this mean that it's not Haram. A lot of muslim celebrate Christmas and many other non muslim celebrations, this doesn't mean that is not haram, it only mean that they don't see this kind of thing important in the religion or they are non-practicing.
Exactly like alcohol or relation before marriage and many other things too are not allowed for christians, but no body care of that,  because most of christians are non-practicing. This is only my point of view as a Muslim but everybody is free to believe what he wants.

But people must understand that when we say haram this doesn't mean that we can't accept congrats from others on these days, it's just a belief inside of you, I don't know how to explain it, I mean you don't have to be impolite or rude with people because you believe it's haram, this is worse. If we can explain it to these people it will be ok, if not, we accept the congrats with the believe inside that it's haram. The most important thing is respect.

regards

Thank you pheonixnuk..yes I also noticed they don't really make a fuss of birthdays etc either..thing is we all have our traditional celebrations etc and I think it a shame if anyone feels they must give up their own way of life to suit another...I will celebrate with him even though I do not agree with halal way of slaughtering the meat...I will have to eat it ! ..and I do not care for Ramadan or whatever but I will celebrate with him as he is my husband as I respect him etc...so what harm is there and how should it be so difficult to just celebrate my traditions with me ..?
Yes we love each other every day...but this a traditional day to enjoy showing it more ..as two people are married we are doing nothing wrong...if I go to Morocco to live soon and I feel he expects me as his wife to support and celebrate all his muslim traditions with him...then at least he should make some effort for me...if I feel this is not going to be the case...our marriage won't survive....and it won't be through any fault of mine...as I say he should have considered all this before asking me to marry him...😒

By the way I should add his sister sent me a nice Valentine's message as she knows we celebrate it...also her and another brother who live in a European country celebrate Christmas too ! ...so im sure it shouldn't be hard for my husband to try and make the effort for me...

Just to explain a little, I don't think it's a case of your husband not making an effort. For a Muslim celebrating things that are not part of Islam is a serious matter. One of the consequences could be it takes you out of Islam and on the day of judgement you are not raised as as a Muslim. To get that in perspective it's like you spend your life working hard at being a Muslim, praying five times a day, fasting etc so you are not going to risk nullifying everything your believe in and work for just to celebrate one day. Also with Valentine's Day I can't remember the story but is it not about two people having a relationship out of marriage - this would be against the teachings of Islam. Another aspect to consider is that Muslims are supposed to be an example for others so we should be careful what we do. You maybe disappointed your husband didn't celebrate valentines for you but on the positive at least he is man who has his beliefs and keeps to them, which is more rare now days. And it's a difficult subject to explain , I'm sure my attempt is short but hope it helps

Goldkhalifa is right, it's very difficult to understand for non muslim people.
I really think that the big problem is that the meaning of religion is not the same for muslim and non muslim.
Religion for non muslim looks like tradition, but  muslim people really believe that there is Allah, paradise, hell...etc and Allah is more important then eveything even your husband, mother and father, no really practising muslim will prefere to go againt islam just to make his wife happy.
This is why I'm feeling that you are not understanding what I'm saying last 3 posts and fill like I'm repeating myself.
But I'm not saying that your husband think like me, maybe if you stay with him and discuss the thing he will be more open then I, and will make an effort as you say, but to be honest with you, this will mean also that his islam is not straight.
wish you the best.

Ok I get it ...Thank you

Hey hun how are you. Im an Aussie and my fiancée is moroccan and we currently live apart atm also. But i received the most amazing message from him on valentine's day.
It really doesn't take alot to make someone feel special right ?????

You should not have to give up anything

Dmc1972 wrote:

Hey hun how are you. Im an Aussie and my fiancée is moroccan and we currently live apart atm also. But i received the most amazing message from him on valentine's day.
It really doesn't take alot to make someone feel special right ?????

Wow! Probably not a well thought out comment which could be taken as adding salt to the wound  but I'm sure you didn't mean it like that . Lynn19's husband doesn't do valentines because it is against his beliefs, not because he is Moroccan. We should respect his beliefs regardless of if other people in similar situations believe the same or not. We were never ment to be all the same!

Yeah didn't mean for it to sound like it did. Sorry Lyn.
My husband is muslim also.

But I also think in any marriage you need compromise.

Dmc1972 wrote:

But I also think in any marriage you need compromise.

Hi Dmc,
Compromises can be done since you do not cross the border, there is a free zone where you can do what ever you want, muslims do compromises everyday because we are living today in a non religion world but if the compromises take you out of this zone you will be out of islam.
Again this is our beliefs, I'm not saying we're right, I can be wrong but at least we deserve to be respected for this, no?

Thank you dmc1972 for your input...I agree with you...just to wish me something surely does not mean just because he's trying to respect me and my traditions does not necessarily mean he's coming out of Islam...I respect him and his religion but if I wish him well on Eid..does this mean it's gonna pull ma away from Christianity ? ....of course not...so that's ridiculous...

Agree 100%.....

If muslims don't agree with the way other people follow their religion. Or if they can't see themselves living the life of non muslims...Why do they choose to marry either a Christian or a Jew...? They are allowed to marry either, if they know they are not permitted to celebrate non muslim religious or non religious traditions, why are they permitted to and why would they choose to marry a non muslim woman ?...to me this is unfair to the non muslim wife....as she is expected 100% to support respect and join with her husband in all or she won't be a good wife...but in the other hand, he is not permitted or expected in any way join and support her, or he's a bad muslim ! ...so again to my question....Why marry a non muslim woman ?....I think for the sole purpose to try and convert her !

So you moving to Morocco Lyn ?

If you marry someone from another culture or religion, you have to compromise with each other. Not one more than the other.

Dmc1972 wrote:

If you marry someone from another culture or religion, you have to compromise with each other. Not one more than the other.

, exactly ! Or why choose to marry that person..as I said to my husband...we are one we should celebrate as one...yes soon I will go as he has been refused entry to the u.k...twice now...so I give up on him and my marriage or I move there ....What about you ?

Lynn19 wrote:

If muslims don't agree with the way other people follow their religion. Or if they can't see themselves living the life of non muslims...Why do they choose to marry either a Christian or a Jew...? They are allowed to marry either, if they know they are not permitted to celebrate non muslim religious or non religious traditions, why are they permitted to and why would they choose to marry a non muslim woman ?...to me this is unfair to the non muslim wife....as she is expected 100% to support respect and join with her husband in all or she won't be a good wife...but in the other hand, he is not permitted or expected in any way join and support her, or he's a bad muslim ! ...so again to my question....Why marry a non muslim woman ?....I think for the sole purpose to try and convert her !

I see what you are saying and I think it would be foolish for someone to marry someone and hope they or expect them to become Muslim. To give a bit more understanding, if conditions are met and it is allowed for a Muslim man to marry a Christian or Jewish woman any children from this marriage are to be brought up as Muslims. That would be in the marriage contract in majority of cases. So as the woman is free to practice her religion, Islam would become the family religion, if that makes sense. It's a bit like if you don't want to be Muslim that's your choice but you are part of a Muslim family. In Islam the man is the head of the family and the leader, not everyone likes that statement, especially in the west when people talk about equality in sexes but that's how it is . Good or bad leaders is another subject but I think this adds perspective to your question on why you can join husbands celebrations but not the other way around. Or are Christian's allowed to celebrate Eid?

Lynn19 wrote:

Dmc1972 wrote:

If you marry someone from another culture or religion, you have to compromise with each other. Not one more than the other.

, exactly ! Or why choose to marry that person..as I said to my husband...we are one we should celebrate as one...yes soon I will go as he has been refused entry to the u.k...twice now...so I give up on him and my marriage or I move there ....What about you ?

Maybe you are worrying about moving to Morrocco and new way of life, which is natural of course but there are a lot of things that are really good there. I wouldn't hold on to the few negatives for you because most likely the positives are much more. Sounds like a great opportunity

I have One direct question please:
Is it forbiden for a jew or a Christian to celebrate other religion celebrations?

No...... in the end we all believe in the same god.

Goldkhalifa wrote:

Lynn19 wrote:

If muslims don't agree with the way other people follow their religion. Or if they can't see themselves living the life of non muslims...Why do they choose to marry either a Christian or a Jew...? They are allowed to marry either, if they know they are not permitted to celebrate non muslim religious or non religious traditions, why are they permitted to and why would they choose to marry a non muslim woman ?...to me this is unfair to the non muslim wife....as she is expected 100% to support respect and join with her husband in all or she won't be a good wife...but in the other hand, he is not permitted or expected in any way join and support her, or he's a bad muslim ! ...so again to my question....Why marry a non muslim woman ?....I think for the sole purpose to try and convert her !

I see what you are saying and I think it would be foolish for someone to marry someone and hope they or expect them to become Muslim. To give a bit more understanding, if conditions are met and it is allowed for a Muslim man to marry a Christian or Jewish woman any children from this marriage are to be brought up as Muslims. That would be in the marriage contract in majority of cases. So as the woman is free to practice her religion, Islam would become the family religion, if that makes sense. It's a bit like if you don't want to be Muslim that's your choice but you are part of a Muslim family. In Islam the man is the head of the family and the leader, not everyone likes that statement, especially in the west when people talk about equality in sexes but that's how it is . Good or bad leaders is another subject but I think this adds perspective to your question on why you can join husbands celebrations but not the other way around. Or are Christian's allowed to celebrate Eid?

thank you for your reply and I agree what you say to be the way...I know a lot about islam as I have been with him for in all 5 years now..so I have taught myself a lot. I do know the children must be raised muslim this won't be an issue for me as I told him from start I can't give him children. I do love morocco and most people very welcoming. I'm not concerned about the way of life over there. As long as he accepts and allows for me to follow what I already do then fine with me ...

Humm?  I am Muslim American (USA) black, middle age man.
The last time I discussed something from an Islamic point of view the post was deleted. I spoke in general and in a manner that would give the non Muslim a glimpse of Islam as I know and practice - I'll try again in general.

Indeed not all Muslims practice the same we are split into groups, sects, parties. Divided in some fundamental beliefs, principals and actions. Some follow the book and traditions as they were revealed and practice over 1400yrs ago. Some use the intellectual reasoning. We would agree this could be said about may faiths. It wouldn't be difficult to make a list of sects of any faith system.

As for Valentine day look at it from a historical view first, find the facts about  the MEANING of this day from a historical view. From what I know Valentine was a man who married Knights when it was prohibited. When it was discovered these Knights/soldiers were married the heart of the woman was removed from her chest and givin to the knight.

Get the facts about the MEANING of this day Muslim shouldn't celebrate. Analysis the acts that Muslims don't want to get involved with. I am certain  you will know many holiday have no Christian origin.

Google is a powerful tool use it to discover our difference then slowly learn to accept them. Focus on what we have in common, which is far more than the dissimilar maybe then our hearts will be join in peace.

I can imagine some Muslims do recognize this day in some manner.
In general Muslims have free will like all humans they can do what they want. HOWEVER, free will doesn't negate obedience to Islamic laws.

It appears your husband is following the Islamic law. Of course this is strange to you. Perhaps you should look at some  quality you like about him at these momments it might soften your hearts.
Find a book about the Prophets treatment to his wife's. Remind your husband he will be rewarded for smiles on your face when he buys you gifts make you feel very special.

Dmc1972 wrote:

No...... in the end we all believe in the same god.

So I think everything is said....
It's not forbiden for you but it is for him, that make all the diference no ??????

dawudb wrote:

Humm?  I am Muslim American (USA) black, middle age man.
The last time I discussed something from an Islamic point of view the post was deleted. I spoke in general and in a manner that would give the non Muslim a glimpse of Islam as I know and practice - I'll try again in general.

Indeed not all Muslims practice the same we are split into groups, sects, parties. Divided in some fundamental beliefs, principals and actions. Some follow the book and traditions as they were revealed and practice over 1400yrs ago. Some use the intellectual reasoning. We would agree this could be said about may faiths. It wouldn't be difficult to make a list of sects of any faith system.

As for Valentine day look at it from a historical view first, find the facts about  the MEANING of this day from a historical view. From what I know Valentine was a man who married Knights when it was prohibited. When it was discovered these Knights/soldiers were married the heart of the woman was removed from her chest and givin to the knight.

Get the facts about the MEANING of this day Muslim shouldn't celebrate. Analysis the acts that Muslims don't want to get involved with. I am certain  you will know many holiday have no Christian origin.

Google is a powerful tool use it to discover our difference then slowly learn to accept them. Focus on what we have in common, which is far more than the dissimilar maybe then our hearts will be join in peace.

I can imagine some Muslims do recognize this day in some manner.
In general Muslims have free will like all humans they can do what they want. HOWEVER, free will doesn't negate obedience to Islamic laws.

It appears your husband is following the Islamic law. Of course this is strange to you. Perhaps you should look at some  quality you like about him at these momments it might soften your hearts.
Find a book about the Prophets treatment to his wife's. Remind your husband he will be rewarded for smiles on your face when he buys you gifts make you feel very special.

Thank you for your informative post...I understand some things forbidden for him so I must accept that..

Hello Lynn
To tell someone you love , Happy Valentine's day requires you to believe in that day and its signification . Your husband, as a muslim , does not believe in saints so he couldn't wish you a happy valentine .Never the less , he should've done something sweet to show you his love as to pay a respect to that day  and not show the " I don't care " attitude , 'cause it hurts to see that your loved one does not care about you . I agree with you , he must respect you and your beliefs the same way you respect him and his beliefs , I encourage you to try and make him see what went wrong and that it's not haram to love his wife . I wish you both   joy, health and happiness <3

Amal la wrote:

Hello Lynn
To tell someone you love , Happy Valentine's day requires you to believe in that day and its signification . Your husband, as a muslim , does not believe in saints so he couldn't wish you a happy valentine .Never the less , he should've done something sweet to show you his love as to pay a respect to that day  and not show the " I don't care " attitude , 'cause it hurts to see that your loved one does not care about you . I agree with you , he must respect you and your beliefs the same way you respect him and his beliefs , I encourage you to try and make him see what went wrong and that it's not haram to love his wife . I wish you both   joy, health and happiness <3

Choukran Bazaf khti and Jumma Mubarak to all my muslim friends here..i appreciate you saying those kind words to me and coming from a muslim woman who can relate to how I feel...I agree with you..if he is permitted to marry me as a Christian woman then he must be sensitive to my feelings and a little kind wish or few words would have been very nice for me...but instead of that he was a bit peeved that I had even been a bit disgruntled about it...give and take is what marriage is all about...Choukran and have a good friday

Amal la wrote:

Your husband, as a muslim , does not believe in saints ...

who told you that? all muslim believe in saints, and as said through many posts here, Valentines  is not a religious thing.

Amal la wrote:

I agree with you , he must respect you and your beliefs the same way you respect him

What a respect to her husband !!! how can you say to someone: you must do this or that, Excuse me but I don't believe in one way respect, he has to respect her but you doesn't respect him, it's not fair.

Amal la wrote:

it's not haram to love his wife

Who said that it's haram to love his wife, this way all muslims don't love their wives because they don't celebrate valentines, I'm a muslim, I love my wife everyday even on valentines, but I don't celebrate it. I don't see any problem here nor her by the way.

The fault of Lynn or her husband if I may say so, is that they didn't talk about this issue before marriage, and now it's very difficult to find a solution. me an my wife are both muslims and we talked about all these things before marriage, I mean must important things of life, and now hamdoulilah we don't have this kind of issues. there are of course some divergences because we're different but we always find an issue at the end.
Hope you find a solution too.

tarikkk wrote:

Amal la wrote:

Your husband, as a muslim , does not believe in saints ...

who told you that? all muslim believe in saints, and as said through many posts here, Valentines  is not a religious thing.

Amal la wrote:

I agree with you , he must respect you and your beliefs the same way you respect him

What a respect to her husband !!! how can you say to someone: you must do this or that, Excuse me but I don't believe in one way respect, he has to respect her but you doesn't respect him, it's not fair.

Amal la wrote:

it's not haram to love his wife

Who said that it's haram to love his wife, this way all muslims don't love their wives because they don't celebrate valentines, I'm a muslim, I love my wife everyday even on valentines, but I don't celebrate it. I don't see any problem here nor her by the way.

The fault of Lynn or her husband if I may say so, is that they didn't talk about this issue before marriage, and now it's very difficult to find a solution. me an my wife are both muslims and we talked about all these things before marriage, I mean must important things of life, and now hamdoulilah we don't have this kind of issues. there are of course some divergences because we're different but we always find an issue at the end.
Hope you find a solution too.