Intercultural relationships in Dominican Republic

Also as far as cheaters go. Cheating is a cultural thing that women and men do! It comes from the lack of importance Dominicans place on marriage. Most people consider living with someone as being married no ceremony or anything. I have lots of Dominican girlfriends and 4 of them have cheated on their husbands. At first this was definitely a shock to me, how casually Dominicans talk about infidelity but they also dont believe in divorcing. When you have a 18 year old marrying a 35 year old for financial gain at some point cheating is going to happen. And the men cheating is pretty difficult to avoid. Any guy with a car and 100$ in his pocket can change the average females life. Have her moved out paying her 60$ rent. I mean women make it easy here. My man doesn't cheat because we are both young, in shape, beautiful, and are with each solely for love.

Thank you for sharing your experience.  It's more unusual than the multitude of stories we get. 

From your other post you are in Santo Domingo.  Most intercultural relationships are not in the big cities, they are in tourist areas.  Makes a big difference.  And it sounds like your husband is more affluent.  Also unusual. 

It's nice to hear these kinds of stories too!

It all depends on the social status. Please do not generalize.    Not all the Dominican women are and think the same way.

Generalizations are normal and are very much subject to social levels. 

Of course not everyone is the same.  I am different to many expats.

I have know this man for months through a job I had. He has come to my job often and a few times he has told me he loved me and him and I never seen each other except at my job.
We exchanged cell numbers so we have text a few times his English isn't good, nor my Spanish. I left that job months ago and he text me last week wanting to see me so I went to his home. This man is a business man. He then hugged me and kissed me and told me that he loved me and wanted me to be his wife.  He has always said those two things to me for almost a year . We talked that day and rode around town and talked. Before I left he told me that he wanted me to move in with him and that he trusted me. He had to go on a business trip that night and told me that I could stay there while he was gone. I did not do it.
I'm waiting for him to return from his trip so I can go ahead and move in. I work a lot he knows this I just don't want to give up my independence with him. He has even told me he wanted me to get my passport together .

Wow.  So after 1 year you barely know him and you are moving in!

As a woman you need to be very careful. You have no idea what you are getting into.   This can be very dangerous.  Please reconsider, take your time, make sure you know who he is and he knows you.

Time will show you everything!

To some of you guys this will be interesting.... I’ve had dated 3 men from the Dominican Republic as a hopeless romantic looking for love I clearly looked for it in the wrong places I wear my heart on my sleeves and that’s my biggest downfall I am now guarded bad that’s from past relationships.

1st Dominican-I was in DR for a friends 30th bday in Punta Cana he’s from Higuey he actually contacted me on a dating app I was on that based on your current location it will connect you with ppl in your area.  We talked for a few months via WhatsApp and met up in Punta Cana I was out there on a family trip we met up I did see some red flags but ignored them.  My sister never liked him he would always say that even though I saw some red flags I went back out there paid for the resort, excursions however the connection in person wasn’t really the best we’ve had sex but not as much as I would like.  Came back to the states started to distance myself from him bc I felt there were other women he was entertaining finally months later he admitted to talking to other women I stopped engaging with him... A few months after that he contacted me saying he was in GA near where my dad lived and  he was engaged to a older American women from GA I’m glad I dodged that bullet because she was his way of getting to the states he would tell me when I was dating him he wasn’t in a rush to come to the states but turned around and did I told him he wasn’t in love with her she was old enough to be his mother he had no response he would call me on video when she was sleeping beyond disrespectful and inappropriate showing me his manly parts😔

2nd Dominican we met online he’s from Villa Mella I’ve always had my reservations about him because he’s “a pretty boy with a body” I would always tell him I know he’s speaking to other women he would deny that I told him there were plenty of single women with no kids there he can talk to why me in the beginning he wouldn’t ask for anything but eventually once he lost him job from time to time he would ask for a few dollars.  I stopped talking to him for one bc I believed there were other women and 2 bc I’ve found someone else who I felt was giving me the attention at the time I felt I needed he begged for me to give him a second chance I said no we could remain cool if he wanted to. We got back together a year later I went out there to visit him he was a gentleman came to pick me up from the airport with flowers took carried all my luggage where ever I wanted to go he took me never had to ask I was hungry he picked up my food I needed medicine from the pharmacy he bought it without a question the chemistry we had was great but deep down I didn’t trust him. One Friday he was unaccounted for no call no text he popped up at my condo the next day showing me a broken phone saying him and his brother got into a fight with some guys I don’t trust no man who has to carry his phone everywhere even to the bathroom that’s a red flag that day we were going to Juan Dolio to eat he had “his mother’s phone” she let him use I opened the car door it was sand on the floor and seat he denied going to the beach then the phone rings I told him to answer he refuses saying it’s his mother’s phone 😔 wasn’t believing that shit he swore he wouldn’t hurt me but once I came back to the state I distanced myself from him.   Which now leads me to the ....

3rd Dominican-we met online he reached out to me on IG he’s from the capital as well near the Aquarium everything seemed good in the beginning I thought he was attentive caring he was speaking the language I wanted to hear “ I love you blah blah” he would tell me how he wanted to build have a family be with me we dated for a year before we met in person I went out there for my bday met up in Puerta Plata paid for a resort we enjoyed each other’s company I was in love 4 months later I went back out there this time for his birthday met his family planned a surprised birthday dinner for him at El Meson De La Cava for his 30th I regret it because I invited some of his friends and family had a prefix menu with no alcohol and they were ordering beer which pissed me off.  I enjoyed my trip that summer he took me to Tres Ojos Cave that entire trip was at the expense of me.  Came home few weeks later found out I was pregnant he was excited claimed he wanted to be here to help me however my whole life was turned upside down he told me at 5 months pregnant that he found out some news that If true may change our lives his ex was pregnant she had what I wanted which was the girl and to be the first and only women to give him a child instead she had her daughter 2 months before I had my son him being the coward that he is decided to stay in DR and wanted to finish his last year of school he didn’t want to face the noise with my family if he came so that was the best decision he made telling me not to continue with the fiancé visa.  Here’s the kicker the other child and mother both live in Chile the mother isn’t from DR that man broke me til this day I can honestly say I have not been able to get over it bc he never gave me peace during nor after my pregnancy to process what happened he had his family constantly contacting me when I would ignore his msgs even if he got that women pregnant if he loved me he should of fought for our relationship and that wasn’t the case I bought his son out there when he was 1 to see him and the family but regret it because he does absolutely nothing for him he calls and txt but financially has every excuse why he can’t provide to both him kids I do not believe that his family didn’t know about this other women his sister said she swears she didn’t know anything about her bc he never formally introduced her to the family like he did me.

These men are needy love attention and are looking for a come up none of them were ever on my level and I had to learn from my mistakes and actions going to therapy had put a lot of things into perspective.  You will never be the only women for them there will be plenty more for the same or other reasons they all want to come to the states for a better opportunity and who wouldn’t do I think they honestly cared or loved me....NO they were in love with the idea of what I could possibly do for them being a American can be a gift and a curse when dealing with ppl from other foreign countries.

I know this is long but I hope it’s helpful for some ppl.

Thank you for posting - provides a look for many to look before jumping.

I will repeat these 2 facts which might sting a bit. First. A man is only as faithful as his options. If the man you are seeing has ample opportunities to sleep with other women, sooner or later he will not resist the temptation of sampling one of the menu items. Talk about putting a fat kid in a candy store and expect him not to touch a single piece of candy. If you are married to Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones who has women throwing their panties at him constantly, do you think Mick is going to have an easy time staying faithful? If you are married to a 5'2 bald 300LB guy with bad acne and no social skills......Do you think this guy is going to have the same problem as Mick? You must be realistic when it comes to men. Women are offered sex all the time, but even the average looking man has to work pretty hard at it, so many times the temptation overrules his better judgement

Second. Latin Love and Latin affection are 2 different things. This is the one that lands many in trouble, and that goes for men and women. Latin people for the most part are very passionate and affectionate, which is something you do not always see in other cultures. If you are not used to this sort of treatment, you can easily get caught up in a fantasy, which later leads to disappointment and sadness to say the least. You must learn to differentiate between these 2 in order to see the person's true agenda if there is one. Time is your best ally when dealing with relationships. Take your time and observe carefully. Red flags should not be ignored, and please trust your gut. If you are introduced to the family, that is not always a sign that you are special, since many times the family will often participate in the charade to help accomplish the intended goal, which will benefit the family as a whole

Well you taught me a lesson as well

This thread is eye-opening. I'm new to the DR so I am absorbing these lessons! Muchas gracias!

Your first point I would say I don't agree with it. If you're an adult and a committed relationship sure temptation may happen but if you decide to act upon them then you're not really an adult or gentleman or we're never in love with the person that you're cheating on. As for your second point yes people need to understand some concepts when dating and Dominican. True the lot of stuff here if ever happened in a relationship in any other country you'll be like what the hell but here it's common practice. They're always planning ahead always having a backup plan and yes they do expect a lot from the man in the relationship. I would say after second or third day they hope that you will start taking care of them financially and more or less in any other way. But that's not every Dominican woman. You can't really put together a whole race and say that's how it is. True that happens a lot more here than anywhere else in the world but still there's unicorns out there. The key is treating with respect and if you want a relationship with them set the ground rules, simple rules too be truthful, don't cheat, don't steal, and explain to them that while you're dating someone you don't mind helping out a little bit but that they shouldn't consider you to be a sugar daddy. That's just my personal experience I hope it helps someone that's going through the same things or are about to go through the same thing

I did not post what I posted looking for fans. It is what it is. The same reason a Lion chases a Zebra and not the other way around It is what it is. If you believe otherwise, then look at Jeff Bezos & Mr. Bill Gates aka Mr. Microsoft...............OPTIONS!

I think coming from another country to hear there's a big culture shock. Where I am the type if I'm in a relationship and give it 100% and I have never cheated in my life. But here they're just doesn't seem to be much emphasis on committed relationships. I mean it could have been my Catholic upbringing or coming from a family where I had a loving mother and father. I don't know but that was one of the big culture shocks here where when I was dating a woman to find out that she had another boyfriend. Granted this was before anything got serious and when she told me that I was like well what are you planning on doing? She said oh it's okay both of you. I was like nope sorry ain't going to happen. So I would just say it's up to the person that you're in a relationship with. If they fully understand a committed relationship then I don't think they're going to cheat and if they do cheat then the relationship really isn't worth being in.

What part of the DR did you move to?

I just want to say  thank you for your perspective on being with a Dominican man, as I am currently considering someone! Its very refreshing to see a positive review on them as I have also heard many horror stories..( and keep them in the back of my mind lol)..I met my person on a trip I took there 5 yrs ago, and we have kept in touch over the years. I don't think either of us thought we'd ever see each other again, as I was going through a divorce at the time, and it seemed to drag out..so though the attraction and chemistry was there for both of us, there were no promises made on either side.  Fast Forward to now, I am finally divorced and we are both looking forward to see where things go! Now, do I think he's been a celibate nun since I've been away? Absolutely not! And in all fairness neither have I. Lol...but if we're judging people on that scale then nobody would be together! Lol...but your story gives me hope..thank you!

The high probability is that, if you met your potential Dominican partner at a resort or via a dating app, it will fail.

Age equality is no security that a relation will work either. It comes down to the person you encounter and your ability to adapt to a different cultural attitude to relationships.

Successes happen but tend to be with Dominicans with education and religion and not exposed to the games played being played at resorts and online.

The dregs of Dominican society hang out looking for potential partners at resorts and on dating apps, not all but many, and if you are green on all things Dominican and dont speak Spanish, good luck finding a long term partner.

Very well put Lennox these are the overwhelming facts

All relationships are hard. Look at divorce rates.

Add in language issues, educational inequality, huge financial difference, cultural differences and many times huge age differences and it's just almost impossible.

I said almost.  I know some that work!   But really the issue is probability!  Highly, highly likely to fail. That is the reality.

I’ve come here every 8 weeks for 5 years and I come for a month each time , I’ve met many people , good & bad like anywhere else but most of the men here I meet are on there 2nd or 3rd family’s , and  they do try to support them with a little money that they make with  the limited work available , I always find there present girlfriend or present wife controls their money for the current family … so be careful with whom you start making google eyes with… 😍

Lack of understanding or respect for money, you have $1 it must be spent especially if it does not belong to you. Easy to spend other people's money

Lol...So I knew I would hear an earful about this being that there are mostly negative comments on this topic in general, but here is the thing..An unfaithful person can be found anywhere, and Lord knows I've dealt with my share of them just here in the U.S.! So that dosent deter me. Also, not only do you not know all the details of our situation, but Everyone isn't the same. I also believe that yes, you should be cautious( as you should be with any potential partner!) But also have an open mind. Its the people in the world that choose to live in fear, having a closed mind that are bitter...and alone. I never said I was walking down the aisle with him anytime soon, or if I'd even want to again...hence, the reason we are getting to know each other!

You may be one of those that works.  Taking your time is good!  Keep us posted.

Thank you! Yes...I will be 50 next year, retired, and have been through many life lessons..Believe me my eyes are wide open! lol

That's the best way to be honey.

Nothing wrong with moving forward but too often people jump before looking below!

@DRVisitor Literally there is a book on this topic and entire families are involved in it.  It's sickening what I've experienced but fortunately i caught it prior to my complete ruination.  In worst case stories I've learned that men have supported a family there because of his chapiadora only to be completely discarded when the money ran out.   

@planner thank you! Sounds like he was looking in the wrong place or was not in tune to what can happen anywhere in the world! I have been to RD 3 times and I have never Encountered anything like that!! All beautiful beautiful women !