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Moroccan police, opening hours and boyfriend lying?

Last activity 08 February 2022 by jahfrank

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katiesmythes1971

New to this forum, briefly I am female, coming up to turning 50 years old. I live in Ireland but met my Moroccan boyfriend whilst travelling in France, as he has family there. We have been in a long-distance relationship for around 6 years. Covid has caused problems for us of course but we are doing our best to Facetime as much as possible and keep in touch every day with Whatsapp messages as well.

He is 56 so a little older than me. Is divorced with two children who live in France with their mother. he splits his time between France and Morocco and is now planning to return to Morocco for good. He is fairly well off for a typical average Moroccan person and has several properties with tenants in them, however, does sometimes have problems being paid the rent, but generally is comfortably off, as is the rest of his large family.

I don't want to enter into any kind of lengthy presentation of our relationship and the problems we have been through, but to summarise, we have had trust issues before, as I found out that he was registered on a couple of dating sites after we had an argument, however, we were not broken up, we talked and I thought we had sorted things out. He initially denied it was him and claimed it was a friend using his phone. The lying was more upsetting than actually discovering he was on the sites. He also claimed he never actually used them and that we were split up at the time, but we were still talking every single day and he was being "loving" by email, Whatsapp etc. There have been other issues, broken promises and poor behaviour towards me and he has been manipulative in other ways too and I actually ended it last year, finally feeling unable to forgive him repeatedly when his behaviour went unchanged yet again. Then he had a family tragedy several months back and contacted me and we began talking again with a view to me visiting him again, but I am having serious doubts.

On Saturday we exchanged texts and audio messages about what we were up to. He said he was doing DIY all day and the last I heard from him was around 6 pm. I was at work on Saturday and when I got home I sent him a couple of Whatspp messages asking if he finished his decorating at around 9 pm. They were delivered with the two ticks but remained unread. Nothing too unusual. Then nothing the next day until gone 1 pm. The messages were read at 12 pm. An audio apologising for the radio silence and that he had been at the police station being interviewed by the chief of police regarding a domestic dispute on Saturday night, and he had been there from 9 pm and left around 1 pm. Then he was at the local market on Sunday morning. His voice sounded very faltering and almost aggressive in the message.

There is a dispute going on in his family and an actual physical fight on Thursday between two of his brothers and half-brothers over inheritance. He claims he was not involved and did not even see the fight, but that a family member has accused him of attacking them. He told me about it at length in a video call on the Friday. I really do not know whether to believe him. Would the chief of police call someone in to be interviewed on a Saturday night, of all times? When I was involved in an incident there many moons ago, I was asked to present for interview with my passport etc. the following day at a normal time of day. I also find it interesting that he cites the time he went to the police HQ at exactly the time I messaged him.

I may be overthinking things, but after all our trust issues, him going off the radar again and telling what feels like a very tall tale, has really annoyed me and I just want to end it for good now. Feedback would be much appreciated.

GuestPoster5697

I’m exhausted just reading this. I’m surprised I even made it to the end because you listed so many reasons why this relationship didn’t work and more information didn’t & won’t add any redeeming qualities. Sounds like you tried, you’ve been shown why it didn’t work, let it be, leave it behind you. You don’t need a neon sign to tell you this is bad news, you already know it. Consider this as a past relationship & move on to newer & brighter horizons. You deserve better than this.

katiesmythes1971

Thank you Elena..... you are right... I am allowing disrespect and I don't need a neon sign.

touritox

I think trust is important between couples and when you find lies and its covered by more lies that wont stop and you said other manipulative way so he doesn't care about your reaction or feeling after find out , so that will bring more problems later .
sometimes you better stay single than enter a complex relation like this .
About the fighting with his brothers for the inheritance , he look cant controll his reaction specialy he is in an age that he need to be calm and use his mind to find solution . Maybe he dont fight with the brothers but the fight was before sunday and that look went to bad situation like someone get hurt so he go to the police for report so i think if that true they will call him on friday or saturday saturday morning or evening .
if something was so bad they come take him to police station at anytime even middle night  .
Maybe he was drinking at saturday like need time with him self and dont want you to know .
i hope some members give you more advice to get a decision .

katiesmythes1971

Thanks touritox. I totally doubt that the chief of police would interview someone in the middle of the night and keep that person there until 1 am? It sounds incredibly unlikely for someone who lives in the west to understand that, but then I guess it could be true. Morocco IS very different. But it also seems odd that he didn't tell me beforehand that it was happening as we have been discussing the family problems at length. It could well be that he is telling the truth, but it feels as if, because of all the other times in the past when he has "gone off the radar" (and I subsequently found he was taking cocaine with a friend and I hate drugs), I can no longer trust him when something unusual happens. I always think it must be a cover story and in the past it has been. I will never be able to trust him again and I really understand that now.

Abdul_Sammad

Well,

I was with moroccon girl friend, same as you long distance, she was always saying I'm in her blood, she loves me to death, she will never leave me etc.

But a few months ago she got busy at same work place, phone start going off for 2,3 Times , after work or Sundays, and she got always busy when it was free time to talk. And when she was with family she was showing can etc.

Long story short, listen to your heart, in the end I heard a little conversation while I was in call with her, someone asked her about boyfriend she answered fantastic (happily) later at night I asked did someone asked about me, she said no, I confirmed she refused. Luckily it got recorded ,,, I told her your friend said it and you answered that.

She totally denied and said she asked something else , and you don't know moroccon, then after listening that, she did not got angry that why you recorded etc.
She simply refused ... And early mor ing she said I don't want you in my life, you are a problem.

And blocked me from every where.

Each and everything was a total lie, a girl who was going to die just a day before , did this, not even willing to talk etc.

So I request you, make heart strong and accept the reality.

paul von

hey mrs katie if he fight with his family over inheritance, you can run away
im moroccan and i know this sort of people their religion is just money , you don't need the trouble in this time of your life

GuestPoster5697

Kuddos to you, I couldn't. Why are you telling strangers your personal business and life?

jahfrank

@Abreu: That was a very insensitive and nonsensical comment to make. If these criminals (both men and women) are not stop there will be more innocent people being taken advantage of. Why are people sending money to people they don't know, in the first place? Let this be a lesson to others. I pray that you are can find closure and move on.

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