Your neighbours in China

Nothing much to tell really    I ve been in China 25 years and have had near zero relations with neighbors  Way back in 2001 we made froends with another couple in our building  Expat Husband/  Local wife like us   Moved away in 04 still in touch on FB    since then not much contact with neighbors    Here in Beijing we live outside the 6th ring in our own house  all the houses close by are vacant but recently my wife joined a group of other locals to do early AM TaiQi with   The local friends i have are her colleagues  ive stopped trying to befriend other expats as they ususally move home after s couple years whereas Im here for the long haul   

@BeijingBob

I concur.  We've lived in our apt for 3 years now and only have one neighbor who is a wechat connection.  Never gone anywhere with him or even been in his house.  Most people don't know there neighbors even though they live next door, literally

I used to fight with my neighbours because they were so noisy but now I grin and bear it it's hard to win when your fighting 1.4 billion people

Funny how the initial post asserts that neighbors "can play a vital role in your well-being an integration", and all answers so far reflect the exact opposite.

@pragmatist

Theory vs Reality 😂   

After 14 years working and living in shanghai, what i see is many foreigners, upon arriving in china, immediately seek out other foreigners.  if people want to be surrounded by foreigners, they should perhaps rethink being in china… so many chinese people are dying to speak english  with a foreigner!!

@ab230597339

if you think it is a « fight  against 1.4 billion people, your mindset will only make you miserable.  Too much noise in your apartment complex?  It is to be expected anywhere on the planet.  Either move into a single family home, or go back to your country and buy a farm in the countryside….

When you live in an apartment, there will be noise,  kids, furniture being moved, music etc…thats life…

@Lmflmf1

This is not something new  This has been happening in every country all over the world ever since people started living and working abroad   This is why there is a ChinaTown everywhere you go, a Little Italy,  Greek neighbourhoods and ghettos, (no negative connotations here) etc   This is the whole reason this website exists and why you are here.  To discuss this experience of living and working abroad with other foreigners having similar experiences.  This website/App is our virtual ghetto. People move abroad and feel vulnerable and insecure and seek comfort among others who are suffering the same difficulties 

Sure there’s lots of Chinese wanting to speak English with you but how to differentiate the genuine from the ones seeking to take advantage of the naive newcomer?

Ive been in China since the 90s I’ve always lived locally, and have lived in different regions here over many years as well as having traveled the length and breadth of the country. I dont live downtown and I dont live in a compound full of foreigners, i live on the outskirts of Beijing, outside the 6th Ring in a town where I’ve only ever seen two other foreigners in the last 10 years. Do I have foreign friends in China, yes, just the 1, a fellow paragliding enthusiasts   Mostly foreigners come to China and leave within two or three years so i rarely bother trying anymore   I do have Chinese friends but not very close ones  Most are either friends or colleagues of my wife who is Chinese  or from my Paragliding club. 

I personally don’t think meeting people who want language exchange works very well. I say personally because it’s been my experience and yours may be different.

The local people looking for language exchange tend to fall into a small variety of categories. (Again, in my experience). A.) Young ladies looking to meet western BF possibilities  B.) People looking for business opportunities or promotion of their own business like Flat Rentals or Translating, etc.  And C.) Parents of young kids looking to get free lessons for their kids. And D.) The few that actually want to learn but perhaps can’t afford or doesn’t want to spend the ¥¥ on a Teacher  Personally I’m not interested in any of the above.  The 1st  because Im happIly married 27 years now  The 2nd and 3rd just because and lastly, from my experience language exchange doesn’t work well and you’re much better off finding a professional teacher who knows what they are doing. You might make a friend this way but it hasn happened in my case.

My advice, solicited or not, would be go ahead and find some foreign friends if you need someone to commiserate with but if you want to meet locals and you plan on staying a while, dive into the language. If you’re working here all the better.  One thing, if your colleagues give you their English names tell them you’d prefer to use their Chinese names instead if they don’t mind.  Trust me it’s a lot easier this way because sure as shite there will come a day when you need to find Justine or Joe and you’ll ask another colleague if they know where Justine might be and they will just look at you with a puzzled expression because, like everyone else besides you? they only know Justine as NanNan 津津

This is your full Emersion experience so go for it. Learn Chinese names paying attention to pronunciations. Practice and don’t feel embarrassed.  Don’t bother with the reading and writing bit until you’ve got a good grasp of the speaking and listening skills first.

And if you want local friends, join some clubs. Most will likely be mixed locals and lǎo wài 老外   I myself have been in Photography and  hiking clubs , met locals on group skiing excursions and currently through a Paragliding Club.

My apologies if I was longwinded

Good luck to you

Noisy, nosy ,mannerless and too curious …seems they don’t have their own life,  always minding other’s business