Moving to RD? Mind is racing...
Last activity 25 June 2015 by cjp2010
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Hello everyone, I'm new to this site but have been reading it for quite sometime. Here's my story (I'll try to keep it short):
Met a guy in RD and we've been in what we would consider a serious relationship for a year. I have gone to see him twice within the year.
I feel like the relationship is getting pretty serious and we have had talks of me moving out there. I am totally willing to do that as I am very much in love with him.
My mind has been running about what to do in my future as far as career and living in RD goes. These are the options I have came up with so far:
1.Work as a nurse half the year in the US, and live out there without working for the rest of the year.
2. Find a travel nursing program that works with RD (haven't found one yet).
3. Open a business in RD. I would like to open a restaurant (I am a professional chef). My bf suggests I open a shoes and apparel store that sells authentic clothing. I.E. Real Nikes and not the knock offs. He says there are already too many restaurants out there. I would love to have a vegetarian restaurant or a Cuban restaurant since those are my specialties.
4. Find a job out there, however I would rather not work in the restaurant industry out there unless I owned it myself.
I am a chef and have been thinking about a career change to nursing. I have been studying and was finally able to apply for nursing schools but was not accepted because they are so impacted. It makes me feel like giving up on that career although I have already worked so hard JUST to be able to apply. Anyway I really love it in RD, I love that I get to be with my love. I just want to get my life going, I feel like Ive hit a dead end here in the states.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate any comments.
Welcome to the forum. First off lots of info here.
Moving here for a guy you fell in love with especially if on vacation has a snow ball's chance in hell of working out and even less of a chance of it not costing you $$$$$$$$. Chances of him being a Sanky are 99,9999999%. Read about Snakys on this forum as well www.dr1.com These guys make a living off of scamming toruists/women and those "looking for love"
If you are serious about living here then read, read, read and come a stay for a month or two "living" here and not at a resort or with your "boyfriend". Do know that to work here you need your residency and cedula. Jobs here pay peanuts and a good nurse with papers can expect to earn about $400 a month if you are lucky.
Sorry to be so blunt but take the rose tinted glasses off.
Bob K
I second the welcome. In order to help you better, tell us how you met this man.
Jobs vs restaurant - tell us what area you are thinking to settle in. That will help. Jobs - well do you speak fluent spanish? A nursing job - once you are qualified might pay you US 400 a MONTH!!!! Pretty sure you cannot live on that.
Opening a restaurant - well seeing as it is your career you might have more success at this! It will depend where you intent to open it and how deep your pockets are. In most areas they open and close new restaurants routinely! BUT, some really work well. There are lots of things to consider.
As Bob says read read read..............it seems you have been reading already - good.
I appreciate your bluntness bob. I have read about sankies awhile ago and read some more after your reply. I feel like he does not fit that category. Yes I did meet him on vacation and not in a resort (ok well in a disco). As far a paying for things go we both pay for things when we go out.
Thank you for the welcome.
I met him at a disco one night. I danced with him and that was that. I saw him another night at the same disco, we danced and I returned with my friends. A few days later he's back and I decide to exchange numbers with him and hang out and we have been talking and seeing each other ever since. He is a police officer there. We talk, or I should say text, everyday all day. He is a good guy who always gives me great advice and things like that.
Also I do speak fluent Spanish (he speaks no English). I am Cuban American
I wouldn't move out there right away, probably within the next year or two. I just like to have a plan and also to know whether or not this is worth doing or if I'm just wasting my time.
Hi! I've not lived in the DR for any length of time, but after reading yours posts, I want to suggest living there in your own place for a couple of months while you aren't working as a nurse, just to get a more personal feel for the place, and this guy. You'll have an opportunity to scope things out....
Thanks pammy.
Forgot to mention the area I'm thinking of moving to is the bavaro punta Cana area.
The last few times I went out there I stayed in a residential type "hotel" not a resort but it was only for a week at a time.
Ok this info all helps. He is a police officer - they make very very little money. So you have to ask how he affords to pay when you go out? Just asking....
Second - the area is more expensive to live in and there is little of the Dominican culture there.
However it is an area where restaurants can do well BUT as many open, close again. YOu must know what you are doing, understand the culture and speak spanish. Sounds like you have 2 out of 3 going for you.
Forget nursing. You won't make anywhere near enough money. Travel nursing - usually arranged out of the travelling patients country - arranged by their insurance company. You would need to contact them in the home countries, but you aren't a nurse yet and when you graduate you will have no real experience so that is a real stretch.
Sounds like your best bet is the restaurant. I would recommend working in one or two restaurants here and watch and learn how things are done. THEN open your own!
We don't go out much when I'm there. We have gone to the movies and to a drin a couple times which isn't super expensive but most of the time we stay in, cook and watch tv jaja. So that saves money.
Thank you so much for your advice. I will be taking these next few weeks to think everything over so I can have a solid plan.
We have a two year age difference. He's 24 and I'm 26.
You met this guy in punta cana??? He knows you have money since you are visiting the most expensive city in the country. Most females from Europe or North America who have met someone from there have ended up worse than the male counterpart when it came to dating someone from over there. Most police officer over there are corrupt, involve in the drug business and or require payment from drug dealers or any other shady business so they can continue running, I'm guessing he is not a sergeant because of his age. He is probably making about 12,000 - 15,000 pesos per month. You are probably not his number one. He is just making sure to set himself up. He is probably working you to make you feel he is the real thing. Have you ever gone over there without telling him and then check what he does during his days off or stay at his place ? where does he hang out? and who he lives with? Don't ask him you need to find out. If you chat in social media such as facebook, create a second account with someone's else picture put a couple of them not just one. If you live in NY put that you from Florida different date of birth, business, work history, add strangers to you list people you don't know. Put some posting with the fake account for the next 2-3 months, get picture of places from florida and put them there and put messages saying you having a bad time at work to create the idea its a real facebook page. Then after 2-3 months of doing this add him, make sure to change your writing style such as instead of writing "aser" you write "hacer" or "porque" you write instead "pork". and connect a different times than you would normally do with your real account. Make sure you don't say anything that you know, heard from him or other people. Pretend as if this is the first time you talking to him. Then after 6-7 conversations not all during the same week you should ask him you are thinking of going to DR but don't know where to go, pretend you are afraid since you dont know the country and would like to have someone to hang out. Complement him on the way he looks to earn his trust. During all this time while chatting with him using your real account dont ask him about if he is chatting with anyone else, also don't disconnect from you fake account and immediately connect with your real one or vise versa.
If he decides to meet the fake you during this fake trip you are not taking then he is playing you. If you tell him about the fake profile is he is probably going to act like he knew it was you and he was just playing along. Make you feel bad for setting him up and make you think its you fault it didn't work between you two. Even if he doesn't fall for it you should be careful.
I knew this woman who was dating a man from over there. Every time she would go over there he would be with her and treat her like a queen, just like you he would pay sometimes but as the relationship when on she would pay more often than him. She will hear rumors about him cheating on her whenever she was not around, but ignore them because she thought he was in love with her but as always things change with time. She once decided to go without telling him and since he like hanging out at the same place most of time she caught him making out with another woman. She confronted him and he was as if was just a kiss of two friends saying goodbye. She left him and never saw him again. He went back to dating multiple females at the same time. Make sure you don't end up pregnant by this guy, because if the child is born over there you may need his permission to take him out of the country and then he will have you forever.
You are young, continue with you career wherever you live. You wouldn't find a better job there than here. If after you retire from your job you want to move there than that is totally different.
A guy from another country is capable of finding a good girl 1 out 100, a female from another country finding a good guy over there is more like 1 out 500. The culture over there is different, is very traditional, where woman stay at home to cook and clean the house and is common for men to have more than one girlfriend. I can show you videos of females fighting over there over a man.
knight second post and same story. Not everyone has "relationship" problems and many times you cannot tell any anything they need to make their own mistakes. We can only give them our opinions.
Maybe this is the right one for her. I know she has been warned by others and not you. We now sit back and see what happens.
How often do you come to the DR?
Bob K
Knight makes some very good points! Bob he is dead on for most of this. My advice to any expat is never ever date a police officer, military or Amet. Its nothing but trouble and you have no where to turn when there is trouble. They make no money and are always on the take. Are there exceptions - yes. Is it likely to be your guy who is the exception - no.
Bob unlike me who had made mistakes what she is thinking of doing is much worse. To leave your good paying job to move over there. She is only 26 years old could affect her for the rest of her life. What if it doesn't work out then after moving there she is going to have to decide whether she wants to return. If she does she probably wouldn't get job back and if she finds one similar she will have to start from the bottom again when it comes to salary and benefits.
If she ends up getting pregnant and breaks up with the guy she may want to move back but will probably have to get permission from the baby's father, he is most likely is not going to want to let his meal ticket move away and used the child to keep there even if the child can have a better life. He will most likely use her to get himself a visa. I'm telling you this because I used to work in a law firm and we would have females who would come in with similar stories. When you decide to bring a spouse from another country into the USA you are also sign off stating that you will take care of them for the next 10 years if they apply for any type of government assistant program it will come out of your check.
Example - Guy brings gf over marries her, a while later she divorces him and she applies for government assistant. The government will approve her application if she qualifies but as soon as she starts getting them you will find that your check has extra deductions.
Knight you are correct on ALL points. Especially if they have a child together. If so she cannot take the kid out of the DR with out his written, notarized, and filed with the fiscal ( know because a good friend is in the middle of this hassle).
The point I was trying to make is that we have all warned here and now we just sit by and watch the novella unravel.
Bob K
I'm chirping in a bit late on this one, but Knight you are spot on once again.....been there done that, minus the kid.....I guess the reverse would be......National has your baby, so now you would have to pay child support, and she will milk that until the child is 18 and even if she has a few other kids.....she will be living quite well from those child support checks! I hope she heeds the warnings or at least does some research on this person.....the way things are on the Island lately, many are looking for a way out. Maybe she should watch the Movie "Sanky Panky" it is a comedy, but very accurate in content
Jenn one simple question? Why not find a nice guy in your town? I'm just curious? Are there no men in your town? I have dated both local and abroad, and have my reasons for indulging abroad, but it seems so much riskier for women to take on these long distance romances.......Is it really worh seeing someone so far away in such a risky low paying profession? I would say date for about 2 years in the same place, since according to psychologist that is the amount of time it takes for the love drug to wear off Usually by then the Rose colored glasses come off and vision clears up very quickly......I always joke and say: An individual could be dating a serial Killer, but once they are high on the Love drug, upon finding out their partner is a SK.......The will simply say: No one is perfect, we all have our faults
I have lived in many countries around the world. But for single guys new to this country, it's very, very risky to get involved with someone here.
Same applies to women dating here - its very risky! But it can be worth it............at least I hope so....
You have to find the good ones is all. same as any country. Meet the entire family. if they are jacked up well look elsewhere.
Street slang for messed up planner
Hello Jenn
Don't be afraid in taking this new adventure, you are young and you only live once, if it doesn't work out, it won't be the end of the world, take it as life lesson. What if it works? How bad you want it? You definitely have a lot of factors on your favor that indicates it may actually work very well.
Best of luck!
Siempre
I am new to this forum but I have lived here for almost 10 years. I met my wife 5 years ago and we got married three years ago. One key thing I want to point out about that is that I dated her for two years before we got married. And no we did not live together until a few months before we got married. Be careful about rushing into any relationship especially one that involves a foreign land and different cultures and customs. I would not advise moving here right away to advance this. Why not visit a few more times first and see how things go? A couple of visits hardly seems to be enough though I don't know how long they were.
If it were me I would take your first option. Work in the U.S. for 1/2 a year and live here for the other half if you can afford that. You can really see how things are going if you are here for a solid six months and then go from there.
I would not advise planning to work here or even run a business here. Some have succeeded but many more have not. The income is not going to be anything like it is in the U.S. I am lucky that I was able to move here and continue my work with U.S. customers via the Internet. I would never have moved here when I did if it meant that I had to work here to make a living. I would have simply waited until I had enough money to retire here.
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