Tips and advice to thrive in France

Hi Priscilla!

How did you manage to adjust to France? I can tell you from our 4 1/2 years of living in southern France is that the best thing to do is learn the language as fast as you can. By having the language shows that you are willing to assimilate and this is the key to acceptance. Far too many Anglophones move here and demand things in English and it is not cool and perpetuates intolerance.

How long does it take to feel at home? Home is subjective. We are Third Culture Kids raising Multi Third Culture Kids so we  feel at home as long as we are together.

It seems that expats do not move here and make a good living, many are in a strange limbo. Never making quite enough, unable to access the French job market, they are forced to make our own businesses, and that limits success and becoming a part of the system itself. But the quality of our life is worth the exchange. Better food than where we lived in North America for instance, better weather, time work ratio in our favour as well.

Would you say it is an easy process? No matter how long you live here you will always be an outsider. France is designed, its system is slow and bureaucratic, to keep France French. It is actually a brilliant survival mechanism. If you don't love the French and French culture I would say skip France. But if you come with the intentions of assimilation, learning from them, enjoying the traditions; I think you will have a far better chance at feeling at home here. Or have kids here, the French love children and second generation kids miraculously absorb the culture and mix in like a local.

According to you, what is key for a successful integration process in France? Language, French friends, kids, working in France, participation in associations and events in your village. become involved, try to know the locals, your local producers, your local grocer. It helps when you are known and eventually loved in your community.

I hope this helps! France is full of diversity: from the changing countryside to the festivals, and the people themselves. There are things you will love and things you will never understand, but the experience is worth a try.

Hi All,

I arrived in France in 2007 having transferred my job from my employer in Belgium to the same employer in France. I worked for a multinational IT company specialized in disk-storage solutions and my work involved looking after a number of the biggest Partners in Europe, so lots of travel. The language of business was English and it was therefore difficult to understand French, to learn it and to use it in my daily life, even though I had learned French at school in the UK.  Luckily my wife who was, in a former life, an International School Director has a "language ear"...and she was able to ensure we found our way in our daily lives....shopping, banking, insurances...both health and life, accommodation and many other facets of what being in France was all about.
Slowly we began to understand the French and their language, to embrace their habits (relaxed attitude to life and play...long lunches, pastis, but a hard work ethic and result-driven compensation....). We have made a small number of very close friends who are very loyal, which is typically French, and I am now confident in the language with them.
We are now in our third rented apartment and will leave France at the end of this year when I retire to go back to Holland where we spent 23 years in the 70's and 80's....our kids and grandkids are there waiting for us to return....but that's another story.
Good luck to all of you who decide to move to France.....but be careful...integration demands you conquer the language, and get your social/health/housing/employment issues sorted before you arrive.
If you manage these pre-requisites France is one of the best, if not THE BEST, country in Europe to live in....the Health Care system is 100% better than the NHS, the social and employment rules favour the employee, but you have to work for it, you can't take anything for granted.....and here in Marseille, the scenery, the sea, the sky, the setting sun.....all make it worth while.
I said to my wife when we were driving down from Brussels to Marseille in May 2007..."look behind at all the burning bridges...!!" She said...."this is my third change of country and adventure with you...let's go for it".
So go take the plunge !!...have an adventure !!....you won't be disappointed.

Tony Fitzpatrick.

My wife (French) and I moved to the Pays Basque on retirement in 2007.
I decided early on that it was sink or swim time - so I took the plunge and joined a sporting club on my own - so a new set of vocab to learn.. About 3-4 years ago I joined a choir - another set of vocab to get to grips with. I'm also on the c'tee of a small association - and yes, you've guessed it - yet another set of vocab to learn. If we did everything together, I'd still be stumbling along.. People here couldn't have been friendlier - I never speak English with them and I think people appreciate the fact that while I might be mangling grammar, at least I'm mangling their grammar..
I've said it before - would I want to live anywhere else but here? Absolutely not. I lived in England for most of my adult life and we both were ready (as in gagging) for a move here. It couldn't come soon enough. We burnt our boats.. we sold up in England and moved here without a house to go to..
No regrets.. not even close to having one. I've never seen the point to moving to a foreign country then hankering after things from your former home. Turn the page and look forward.
End of rant!☺

I've been married to a french man for 45 years   We are baby boomers who lived and embraced the 60's revolution all the while living in Los Angeles. All this to say, we are a bit more open than your average American.
My best advice is to be polite at all times. Contrary to what some Americans may think- the French are all about manners and discretion. Don't expect them to be your best friend immediately upon meeting them. They take their time bringing you in. But once you are- you can be assured that it's for life.

Starcutter's right about French manners.. It's easy to commit a faux pas without being aware of it.
For example, if visiting friends and you're wearing a coat, wait until asked before removing it.
There are more.. worth looking at a book on French manners.

That book sounds like a good idea- thank you!