Dealing with loneliness in Dominican Republic

Well this is not one of my favorite threads......   but I will respond.

One of the reasons I live here is the sense of community and family.  Dominican culture is very very social. 

I tell this story:

I live in a townhouse back 'home' and  was there for 18 months. I never ever met a neighbor. We parked underground in private garages and came and went and no one saw.

I moved into a townhouse here in Santo Domingo some years ago.  Damn I knew my neighbors within 18 minutes!

Dont worry so much about meeting people.  Dominicans are naturally curious and will reach out to you. Be friendly but not overly so.

It is easy to meet people here, just be open to it.

Meeting expats in certain areas,  just go to the neighborhood watering hole at happy hour!

Join the area FB group: Everything Sosua,  Everything Santo Domingo, etc etc

Join Internations - they do regular events for expats in SD. There are currently no other chapters in the DR.

BETTER YET - organize a meet up in your area. Start a thread here and choose a time and place and make it happen!

This island is the friendliest of the several that I have lived on. Walk down the street, smile & say hello, doen't matter the language. The large cities aren;t as open as the smaller towns. No matter where, you will meet easily many folk. The Happy Hour never fails, never. Of course the percentage of idiots is the same world wide.  Come on, jump in, the water's  fine!

I believe the most important thing is to follow "the tinkers" advice... get out, walk around smile to people and say hello! In certain pats there are a large number of ex-pats that usually go to bars/restaurants. Stop in have drink or a bite to eat - say hello. Good luck! John

Hmmmn....guess it depends on the individual and where you live. Think each experience is different depending on WHO you are...We don't do the bar scene and not a lot of restaurants either, occassionally. Now perhaps it matters your time of life also, the phase your in ie; young children on board, young single or older retired. We have been here three years and not huge town but tourist town. People seem to KNOW of people or be able tp identify them but haven't found it overly welcoming. Alot of people expats here are well off others not so....have noticed a division there with who hangs with who. We maimly know people through the school system but even there its been difficult to really connect. Seems to be lines drawn by race and income....NOT saying everyone has that experience but we have. We are not unfriendly people, we smile, initiate conversations and are known for being there to volunteer or help out in any way we can to poorer neighbors, the school, animal rescue work. We know a few people professionally and a couple of people through the school..We know 90% of our neighbors by name and have been in many of their homes. Alot of them have begged us not to ever leave. But that said we just really haven't been successful at feeling at home here. We have pretty much decided we really really miss family relationships at this point and are preparing to return. So to be fair its a subjective thing. I have expat neighbors who have been here 10 years or more and are very content. We have been here 3 and aren't content anymore. Part of that to be honest has to do with a horrific experience with a neighbor that has lasted 3 years....Big part of killing the joy but there isn't enough other positive for us here to override that.  We just really need family support right now, that's our story and we are sticking to it!

You are right, each persons or families experience is very different. We all  need to decide what is best for us. Best of luck to you.

May your going back give you what you are lacking here. May you also look back on your experience here with some fondness & not as a mistake, but as an exploration of self and of life. There is no such thing as a mistake, .... unless you repeat it.

Thanks Planner....
I have loved reading your and Bobs advice over the years...You were an inspiration to me even before we crossed over the waters. I really really believed we were here for the long haul until very recently. When my child starting having serious issues being here and only one visitor from home in 3 years after how many promises from so many to come and nor being able to go home for visits like we needed....well we just need to go back for awhile...Not ruling out returning down the road but for now its just not where we need to be. Stay amazing Planner! Still hold out hope to neet you before we go which will prob be in a year....unless things work out and we go sooner...

Thank you so much honey.  I hope we can meet too!!!!

Don't worry....you notice I didn't tear the country down only our experience...On the positive side there are many things we will take with us! It has been an adventure beyond our wildest dreams! Wow! The personal growth we have experienced being here is priceless!!! My child learned a language she didn't know before coming and made some friends from countries that never would have occured back home. Living in a completely different culture has stretched us in unimaginable ways. We have learned to go with the flow and be peaceful living without some things other places take for granted like constant electric and water. We have survived nicely without AC and met some incredible people from both this country and orhers. We have experienced the kundness of total strangers that will forever be carried in our hearts. We have seen the good and the bad and learned to stand back and let the locals handle things their way not ours. We have tried to teach and show good example to the children especially in the treatment of animals. We hope we have been a blessing and help to those we have met and dealt with. There are things we will miss and things we will be happy to lewve behind....There will be many memories....And perhaps down the road we may return when things for us have changed yet again. Life is an ebb and flow....for us the current has changed and we need to go.....for now....hugs...

Will try to PM you....love to finally meet....

G. You are a glorious  soul. Thank you for making it so clear that it hasn't been a negative experience for you.  The nay-sayers are left empty of ammunition to put the DR down.  You have given us the approbation that this country needs.  Your light "brights the darkness". (Susan Parker- St. Croix- 1997 poem) She is the daughter of Robert B. Parker, the author.     Thank you Glauriel, thank you

you can experience loneliness anywhere- trust me, even surrounded by people

We have been looking at property in another neighborhood, but we factor our amazing neighbors into our decision, so now we are buying another lot here (proximity to other lots is positive too).  We have the advantage/disadvantage that our home in Michigan is far away from both our families, and we rarely see them.  That is something we won't miss because we don't have it.  Both of us feel that we've met great people here and have more active social lives here than in the states...I've lived in Metro Detroit for 20 years...longer than anywhere else in my life...but, I still don't have very strong relationships there.  Social life, but no true friendships. So many people here are of a like ilk.  Not saying there aren't those we would rather steer clear of...but, for the most part to move here (Cabrera) you need to be open to a new culture and language. We have both lived in other countries (mi esposo es de Alemania) and everyone we've met is well-traveled and open. Our neighbors here are like family and we look forward to being here full time.  Then we'll see.  We have a plan. We'll move here permanently and then time will tell.  For now we work toward that goal and are cognizant that things can change. Glauriel- you've just enriched your life experience and it will make moving forward with different perspective lead to happier more contented life.  Going back isn't the same as returning...as if DR was just a dead end...it's all moving forward. No regrets! Good luck!

Tinker your words are very kind....my life motto of many years has been to "be a light in dark places when all others go out" from Tolkien.....I try to as I put it leave a trail of good deed breadcrumbs behind me....so when my days are done I can look back and see all the little diffferences made for the better no matter how small....We have learned and grown from living here. We are forever changed and I feel for the better....

You are absolutely correct....I hope you are alright....I miss family but have been away before. My child has not and she is entering a difficult age....She needs family right now and she is my priority. Also we lost a sibling she and aunt and were not able to attend the funeral. It has impacted us and my family in ways we didn't forsee...So we just need to take some time to be there for them and for us...Not closing the door just crossing the bridge...Be loved my friend....

Planner sent PM hope goes through.

I live in Puerto Plata and it's no problem meeting people. Like several said, walk around and talk to people BUT don't say too much or brag like an idiot... and never fully trust anyone, they're all playing an angle...even most of the expats. Sure, plenty of good honest people here but always stay alert and trust your gut. As far as loneliness goes... stay active and you will always have the attention of the people here. I kind of prefer the countryside best. Randomly stopping at a roadside bar and having a beer and a chat.