Egyptian man/ European woman, opinion?

@Princess Anna

Hi Anna

Two red flags:

1.) you met him “in a restaurant in a touristic place”. This means he is low paid and probably looking for a way out

2.) He claims he doesn't want an Egyptian woman. Not saying he is one but this is a typical “gigolo” statement, and it's not to be believed. Most Egyptian men do want an Egyptian wife, regardless of how demanding they might be, however they can be expensive to marry which puts some of them off

Only time will tell what his motives are but you have to ask yourself if you, as atheist or agnostic, are ready to be in a relationship with a religious guy. In casual dating it doesn't matter so much, but marriage changes everything…

@Princess Anna

Hello,

I'm Amr, Egyptian... and,

Well, I have read your story, and wanted to share some tips with you.

First of all, you need to know his real purpose of this engagement, like, he is really like you , or just wanna to take adtangtae of your nationality to be in Europe. Also, to be able to figure it out.. do some tests, like tell him you wanna stay in Egypt for the first couple of years and see the answer .....

Also, during your stay in Egypt, who will support finanically, if he has a good job or not? he will be able to build a family and suppport them financially while being in Egypt ?

Culture difference ... Egyptian, normally grown up in away completely different from European  culture, where a man is the one who is responsible and according to Islam, he has the rights to be the discuison maker for some topics, and when you wanna go out for example; you need to tell your husband I'm going out to meet for example some friends, he has the right to know who are your friends ?

Just read about ARAB culture carfually and see if this OK with you or not

Thanks

Amr

Thanks for the answers so far. I am aware of the red flags. I wonder if speaking about marriage and about having children so quick and raise them in Europe is something that is common? It confuses me. (Even when knowing I am not religious) I am interested in getting to know more about Islam and read the Quran but I'm not open for converting.

He says that his family is fine with his 'plans', as long as he is happy..

@Amr, I have thought about this 'test', but we have already been talking about this and it's clear that because of my child and job here it's not an option for me to move to Egypt. I'm affraid this test now won't give me the answers I'm looking for.

I can't judge his intentions since he is being honest with you from day one another point would strengthens his position he wants to have kids from you have future with you something links you both together

however this will not be possible because of his belief

so being together is useless

rushing to move forward into marriage step also suspicious.. you need to study each other before taking this step of course

you need to be sure he have job with salary enough to be husband not another dependent thing leads to unsuccessful marriage

@Princess Anna

My advice is slow down. What is the rush? You are right to learn as much as you can about his beliefs and culture.  I am an American woman who met a man in Cairo. He'd lived in Cairo for a decade and was from Sudan—also a Muslim. So your boyfriend isn't correct about Muslim men not being able to marry a non-Muslim woman. (It sounds like he needs to consult his book. ) We talked back and forth for several months, and then he proposed to me. I wasn't sure, but I decided to spend time with him back in Cairo and check him out to see if he was right for me. And an honest person.

After a year or so of living and working in Cairo and interviewing the poor man to death, we eventually married. He was also grilled by the US Embassy, accustomed to Egyptian men marrying Western women for passports out of the country. Twenty-three years later, we are still together. He became a US Citizen, and we plan to return to Egypt this year.

Be upfront about what your needs are. If you want more kids or not, be honest. I couldn't and made it clear. Think about how it will affect your daughter as well. And I would advise beware of the pressure from his family. Look up the legal rules should you decide to marry him and any custody issues that should arise. Love is love, but be sure you are not being taken advantage of. I wish you the best.

@Princess Anna Take it easy.  I was in a relationship with this Egyptian for a very long time.  We were really close to marrying.  I am glad I dodge the bullet.  Looking back, I see that it will be a messy marriage, if we did marry.  Yes, the early part of the relationship is very romantic, all lovey-dovey.  And he was really good with his words.  So, don't base your decision on this.  Give it more time.

@Princess Anna At the age of 51 i decided to follow my heart rather than my head and 11 years on I can report we are still on that rollercoaster! We live together (not legally married) in Sharm el Sheikh and have a 25 year age gap to contend with too. His original intention was to have a young Egyptian wife and family too but I have always been adamant that i will not accept "a second wife" and this plan never materialised. Decisions about marriage are made much quicker in Egyptian culture compared to western culture. I took a lot of convincing but all the signs are that he will stay with me forever. Good luck

@Princess Anna don't believe him. Stay away from him. It's my best advice.

Be cautious!!! know your facts, like his family background, have you met them. A man that keeps you a secret is never a good thing. Maybe he is a genuine guy but prevention is always better than the cure. What do you want? Never sell yourself short.

@Princess Anna

These are very serious questions.  First of all, you must be sure that he is a free man and that he is not married.  Secondly, there are few happy marriages in comments.  Of course there are exceptions, which are written here in the comments.  Second, check what kind of watch he wears, what kind of phone he has, what kind of cigarettes he smokes.  If it is outside his, not the European average, turn on all the red flags immediately.  When you arrive in Egypt, ask to share all expenses.

He stares just so you don't change your mind.  He wants to come to Germany as soon as possible.  Ask him to get married in the mosque, to see what kind of answer he gives.  Unfortunately, usually men from Egypt are looking for women from Europe, for money and passports.  There are groups on Facebook dedicated to women from European countries.  You also have a fantastic group from Germany.  Read everything carefully first, then decide.  But don't rush.  Most importantly, if his aunt, mother, grandmother, grandfather and other family members are sick, run away immediately. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I wonder, how much do you really know about him. In Egypt children are very important. I know many European women, who didn't know, that their husbands or boyfriends have egiption wife and children. If they are from Luksor, 99% I am sure he is married and have children. Very often Europe n wife or girlfriend is invited to meet his family and wife is presented as sister. These egiption wifes dont mind, as long he gives money. All family is happy, that he has woman from Europe. They all think, that we are all rich, so their son or husband will support them using naive European. I dont say, that your boyfriend is like this but its possible, so 11 or five or one year makes no difference. And here 11 years without legal marriage? Hard to belive. 👍

Yes. Does this woman have an 11 year Orfi? Some men who marry older foreigners decide when they are 40 or 50 or even 60 that they want children after all, if they haven't already had them in secret with a local woman. It is very important for men to have a son to pray for them after they die. A western companion is so often just seen as a cash cow and a status symbol, even sometimes after legal marriage.

@barbaramossakowska1

how do you find out if he is married? I met a man from Luxor with my sister. our tour guide. he took us to his home and we ate twice. his brother and his brothers wife and children live upstairs…

we have spoken for 7 months. he says he loves me and wants me to visit….….

@T105 tbh it will difficult to find out if he's married but maybe someone else on here knows a way. Normally they keep their marriages hidden. About love, 7 months is barely enough time to know each other, never mind falling in love. Maybe some Egyptian can tell you all about “Luxor Syndrome”, in which these men take you back to their village, take you to their families to eat etc and do the whole hospitality thing… and then come the requests for money, to buy a villa or for some operation.

However, some women are happy with this setup and some marriages last. You just have to be careful not to be seen as a cash cow. Is there an age gap?

He is 35 i am 46. I know all about romance scamming etc.  almost over educated to the point of constant paranoia. his name is Mohammed. He's a tour guide he's from Luxor. He's takien me to his home twice. I met his mom and his supposed family upstairs wasn't introduced to me really but they were around. There were some children around them. He said they were his nieces and nephew. I wanted to go and visit in January. I know culturally speaking dating isn't allowed, but yet there has been some westernization of some of their dating habits from what I understand. He still muslim and shouldn't be dating which brings me to why he'd be OK with us or his family would be OK with us? I don't know how many more red flags  need to be waved or if I'm just paranoid. I don't want to miss out on a really great guy because I generalized him. I accused him of scamming several months ago out of paranoia and he was super offended of course and said that there are a lot of good people and bad people everywhere you go, and that it was unfair that I was judging him  like that. Which made me feel like crap actually. paranoia or intuition?

Just FYI, Marriage of an Egyptian Muslim man to a non-muslim woman is permitted but not the other way around.

This infomation is readily available on the internet.

I think i found it at the counsulate website.

@T105

Just FYI, Marriage of an Egyptian Muslim man to a non-muslim woman is permitted but not the other way around.

This infomation is readily available on the internet.

I think i found it at the counsulate website.

@Jane Radford

I am fascinated by your story.

I have a similar situation.

We also have a significant age difference but this isn't really something new for me.

Nor is it unusual for me to be with a person of another country and culture.

But I also took a lot of convincing.

We have known each other since March. I spent May with him under unplanned medical circumstances which caused a 2 week visit to become a month.  Most recently I was there again for Septmeber and October. We are in commuication every day when I am back in the US.

He was married once before also to an older woman.

I have watched him super closely.  I really believe he is honest, sincere, and committed to a relationship with me. He is one of the kindest, most compassionate, patient people I've ever met...and just a good person.

I would love to ask you some other questions.

Are you up for that?

I have an apartment in Montazah.

I plan to be back in Sharm el-Sheikh by January.

I am unfortunately not in Egypt at this time. it will be sometime after January. perhaps we will find a way to connect then. So many similarities….

I would not worry about his motives but look to your own. You have a daughter and you are considering spending your life with a person of a different culture, nationality and religion, who lives in a different country. Someone you do not really know and is already talking of marriage and making you pregnant. How would you react if you met a British person in a bar in UK and they came on like this. Are you really that desperate for a partner?

@T105 If you are able to describe Mohammed or where in the village his home was or better still if you have a picture you can share privately. I will try to let you know if he is a good man.

I also met a Mohammed from Luxor (there are many I know) and was married with orfi for 1 year. It ended due to his angry temperament and I made it clear I wouldn't stand for it.

From what you say, it sounds like him and I am worried for you and would like to help if I can as I got help from a lovely kind person on this website.

Please inbox me and I will be happy to talk more and see if i can help

@Princess Anna It is common because many Egyptian men do not fall in love with the foreign woman they meet and want to spend their lives with them, but they desperately want to be married - to any foreigner.

@Malamoja What if he says he is ill?

@Travelgirl85 Did you have to divorce with the orfi marriage?

@T105

I'm invested.  Have  you been able to go back yet?  Coincidentally,  my fiancé is also a  tour guide named Mohammed who lives in  Luxor. Curious to see how your relationship is developing. The past year and a half has been quite a journey for me.