Advice on Marriage/Situation At HAnd

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well i for one have lost interest in this thread....LOL

it does not even seem like a real thread anymore or people are having a few drinks before posting.
dude does not have a clue and does not seem to want one.

somehow OP went from love and god to political relatives and retaining lawyers all the way to having scammers here arrested....GOOD LUCK with that! i am surrounded by criminals and scammers and deviates and thieves daily and cant seem to get anyone arrested, how you think you could do it from afar shows how little you know about your future wifes culture or mindset.

Yes, folks here have tried to help the OP with some solid advice, including sharing true stories and advice to always come to the PI first, don't send money, etc. and the OP, as is often the case, and being  emotionally invested, thinks his situation is different. In fact it may be, but further investigation simply has to be done.  William, I am glad to hear from your recent post, that you are considering that.

But guys, that's the time to let go of it. Not continuing to be cynical and making jokes or insincere comments toward the OP or attacking each other here. William has invested a lot of time and emotional energy into this, has a beautiful dream and hopes to turn it into reality. And it is always possible he has found a good woman. All we can do at this point, after sharing our concerns, is wish William good fortune and let him perform his due diligence. There are ways to do that.

I wish you the best in your endeavors William.

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pnwcyclist wrote:

Yes, folks here have tried to help the OP with some solid advice, including sharing true stories and advice to always come to the PI first, don't send money, etc. and the OP, as is often the case, and being  emotionally invested, thinks his situation is different. In fact it may be, but further investigation simply has to be done.  William, I am glad to hear from your recent post, that you are considering that.

SOLID advice/observations.

William Greenlee wrote:

I understand the Real Concerns you have. Thank you. I will listen and continue to Self Check from Life Long friends who know me well.
I am not a Ruler or King. Just a Simple Man.

Good that you have that planned so before actually tasting the pie    please go ahead and do & then redo exactly what you have mentioned.
Many of the guys here are just overly passionate   & knowledgeable. Many here just don't want to see another expat (like the many others whom have) suffered the consequences all because they presumed that all was good & beautiful after just the few video calls/short visits they had.

Hello To All :

Thanks Echo Bravo :

Oscar November Oscar.

Love To All..

Hello To All :

Well I do have a Safe. With 10 Rare Rolex Watches. I may sell one of those. I bought them many years ago for fun. They mean Nothing to me. Just implements of coins.

Love To All..

Hello To All :

Thanks Man Wonder. I Appreciate You.

Love To All..

Hello To All :

Thanks Soon Retired. Catch another Thread. With more Tread. Hey Black Betty Bam a Lam. I have gone Crazy..

Love To All..

Hello To All :

Thanks. Yes. I will Investigate this Situation. Fully. I refuse to be like Sarge Schultz. Who always said, "I know nothing".

Love To All..

coach53 wrote:

coach53 wrote:

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So bigpearl is allowed to REPEETINGLY write BS towards me, but I'm not allowed to answer his BS...? 

Stop right now Coach. Please read the Forum Rules. Yours wasn't the only post removed and I will start Banning members if this keeps up. This forum is for the benefit of those seeking and sharing valuable information about the Philippines. Posts that contain personal attacks, bad language or are not related to the thread topic may be removed.

All of you - If you don't like what someone said just IGNORE it, and stop the personal attacks. This goes for ALL members, including those who are purposely provoking others.

Back on topic, William we all give advice when it comes to relationships, good and bad or not what people want to hear. I will be the first to admit that I have made plenty of mistakes throughout my life when it comes to marriage (once for 22 years) and many relationships over the years so I'm probably not a very good judge, myself and others have offered up information and experience from our hearts both happy and broken.

Honestly? You have heard many offered opinions but ultimately after research the ball is in your court and I and I'm sure all here wish you well for the future.

Cheers, Steve.

Hi everyone,

Kindly note that some posts have been removed from this thread.

As a reminder, we are all here to help each other and not to attack other members.
Thanks to read the post of pnwcyclist ( #94 ) again , where he has kindly brought forward Expat.com values :

pnwcyclist wrote:

This forum is for the benefit of those seeking and sharing valuable information about the Philippines. Posts that contain personal attacks, bad language or are not related to the thread topic may be removed.

All of you - If you don't like what someone said just IGNORE it, and stop the personal attacks. This goes for ALL members, including those who are purposely provoking others.

Cheers,

Priscilla
Expat.com Team

Hello To All :

I understand. I feel your Love. Thanks. And as Usual. Love To All..

I mostly wish to focus on the visa aspect as I am not qualified to give another a pro or con regarding matters of the heart.  It is however, my view that others will always have words for you regarding age differences, skin tones and all other matters that just don't bring happiness to either of you.  She sounds like she has maturity and lots of focus in the same direction you have.  What else really matters???

Soooo.... you may want to consider marriage in the PI vs. in the USA.  Assuming all goes well relationship wise, a 2 year marriage there will allow her to come to the USA without a temp green card or non-employable SSN.  This will give you and both families time to adjust to the change that will take place when she immigrates.  Additionally, you will save the fees for the adjustment of status when you marry in the USA. 

Best wishes

Calif-Native wrote:

I mostly wish to focus on the visa aspect as I am not qualified to give another a pro or con regarding matters of the heart.  It is however, my view that others will always have words for you regarding age differences, skin tones and all other matters that just don't bring happiness to either of you.  She sounds like she has maturity and lots of focus in the same direction you have.  What else really matters???

Soooo.... you may want to consider marriage in the PI vs. in the USA.  Assuming all goes well relationship wise, a 2 year marriage there will allow her to come to the USA without a temp green card or non-employable SSN.  This will give you and both families time to adjust to the change that will take place when she immigrates.  Additionally, you will save the fees for the adjustment of status when you marry in the USA. 

Best wishes

All true, gonna deplete the Rollex inventory.

I don't use a Rolex watch⌚ while in the Philippines, not because I don't have one😂 but because it could invite harm🔨 or injury.😆😁

Jackson4 wrote:

I don't use a Rolex watch⌚ while in the Philippines, not because I don't have one😂 but because it could invite harm🔨 or injury.😆😁

Would have to liquidate the inventory in the USA before the Philippines expedition.

Jackson4 wrote:

I don't use a Rolex watch⌚ while in the Philippines, not because I don't have one😂 but because it could invite harm🔨 or injury.😆😁

You want a Rolex Watch? Go to Green Hills Mall. . . .Only $20 USD.

Enzyte Bob wrote:

Jackson4 wrote:

I don't use a Rolex watc4h⌚ while in the Philippines, not because I don't have one😂 but because it could invite harm🔨 or injury.😆😁

You want a Rolex Watch? Go to Green Hills Mall. . . .Only $20 USD.

Danger still lurks here when seen wif a fake rolex....best to just slap on an original casio which costs abt the same as the fake rolex & hey that does last a lifetime of keeping time & no one will bother you either.

manwonder wrote:

Danger still lurks here when seen wif a fake rolex....best to just slap on an original casio which costs abt the same as the fake rolex & hey that does last a lifetime of keeping time & no one will bother you either.

My wife collected handbags while in the states, the real ones, also watches and sun glasses. When shopping in Green Hills, when the purse sellers took one look at my wife's Coach Bag, they knew it was the real deal.

I often joke to my wife, she could have saved thousands of dollars if she waited to shop at
Green Hills. Then I get a dirty look that could kill.

In the states with smart phones a lot of people don't wear a watch, while Filipinos go nuts over wearing watches.

Long story short. I'm 73. Been around the block. I too met someone online. Much younger. Everyone poo pooed and tsk tsked. But here's the thing - THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS.

We are obligated to live our personal destiny in order to find happiness.

I have a simple addage I hold dear: Chance favors the prepared mind.

After 8 months of courting online and really communicating - we met face to face. That led to 3 months of visiting (she bravely came to Panama where I was living).

Not all younger women from other countries are "after" something. What relationship in any country is not to some degree "transactional"? We give - we get.

I moved to the Philippines, we married - I have a stepson and a wife and have never been happier or more contented - ever. EVER.

Listen to your heart not the voices in your head. Don't let the remainder of your life be - oh what if I had only.... Or regret.

Suffering is optional. It's a choice.

Based on what you wrote - your destiny awaits.

The journey of a thousand miles is taken one step at a time.

Start walking. You have found the real deal.

Robert

Hello To All :

Thanks for this Sound Advice. I appreciate your comments. I feel what you say. Regards. And. Love To All..

Hello To All :

My Dear Brother. Thank you for you insight and experience. Deeply Felt by me what you say. I understand what you say. In front of me is The Heart of an Oldest Daughter of a Poultry Farmer. I assure you a Heart I have never heard before. Ever. As I told her. Recently. Maybe we will be with the "Lucky Ones". Take care. Love To All..

Hello To All :

Not wearing Rolex anywhere. Just used for monetary purposes. Regards. Love To All..

Hello To All :

I understand. I appreciate what you say. I will take your Sound Advice. Thanks. Love To All..

Hello To All :

I agree. There are Thieves in the Temple. I too am like you. Do not worry my Brother. I am listening to everything. Seriously. But I do respond sometimes in a funny or crazy way maybe. Just my personality. Love To All..

William Greenlee wrote:

Hello To All :

I understand. I appreciate what you say. I will take your Sound Advice. Thanks. Love To All..

Please pass the Ripple or Thunderbird to me before it's all gone.

A fool doesn't heed advice and a wise man doesn't need it. Although we are usually wasting our breath when trying to get others to learn from history we still try. But only history proves whether what someone is doing is a mistake or not. And sometimes it turns out that the joy from the mistake was worth it in the end. I think this depends on whether you are basically an optimist or a pessimist though. Nothing ventured and nothing gained ehhh. So I say cautiously press on!

Yup the messages here should be very clear "best to tread lightly"....& as for me I'll always have a back up plan.
For me personally there will be NO JOY fm realizing that I had made 'another' mistake by failing to plan, especially in such a late/critical stage of my life.
Omho

This topic has been up and down like most times when these questions are asked, While I am not a brother or religious in any way shape or form I did go to a private catholic school for 6 years in primary school and could never quite work out the high and mighty and where I didn't fit in and obviously never will, perhaps my bad and I would ask the OP why seek solace and "brother ship" here instead of your temple or church?

My mother, a strict Catholic forced or chose an expensive catholic school on 4 children much (I found out years later) to my fathers dismay, he payed the bills.
When I was 8, my brother 10, sister 7 and younger sister 5 my mother walked out on us.
3 marriages later I doubt if she will ever be happy, I am 61 and have not spoken to her for over 35 years, sisters the same, older brother over 40 years.

Our father, much like what the OP has mentioned stayed single, raised us as best he could, we are all doing very well given what this world throws at us all.

I simply ask firstly how this wonderful woman can leave her child with family and friends and given your financial situation may never see her child for 5, 10 or 20 years but what appears to be opting out,,,,,, interpret as you will.

Secondly, while harder yards why not go the distance and unite your profound love by having both your children with you? The complete family.

OMO but a heads up from experience, my mother is an opportunist and grasped and scrabbled to make her life better at the expense of our family, a half brother who also doesn't have anything to do with her for over 20 years. last I heard was 10 years ago on her 4th husband she is a stooped over old lady, solitary and only puts up with husband number 4 because he holds the purse apparently, no family and fewer friends. Did her faith create this? No!

Do yourself and your fine lady the favour of going the hard yards for her and her son,,,,, your new family. Takes longer perhaps but honestly?

Sorry William for the ramble and I think now is your time to shine for your lady and her, perhaps soon to be your son. You are obviously committed so do it properly, for your lady, her son and your extended family. Commit and take the burden from them and make it yours. Don't let her walk away from her child.
Time to off load all those Rolex watches mate. Do it and let us know how you go in a year or so, not more "I love you all". Do it.

Good luck and go for it.

Cheers, Steve.

Hello To All :

Thanks for the time. The most meaningful comments yet. Look. To All. I understand and appreciate the concerns and the sound advice in most cases. A little more info. Since initial post.  Of course on extended Video Calls. I have met her Parents/Grand Parents/Youngest Sister/Co Teachers At School Where She Teaches. What does this mean. It means something. Right. Multiple Times this has happened. So. I am going to the Phillip. toward the end of year if Covid allows. Her Parents want me to stay at their home. What do you think Brothers of that. I will stay 20-30 days. I am 59. I have been around a few days. I have had the opportunity to put a ring on different fingers. But not this one until now. We have discussed many many things. No stone unturned. Life. Dreams. Reality. Pain. Loss. Gain. Jesus. Hope. Earth. Work. Expectations. Roles. Jobs. Income. How Money Is Handled. Love. Respect. Charity. The Brevity Of Life On Earth. The Age Difference. Sex. Intimacy. Fidelity. Growing Plants. Planting Food. Siblings. Parents. Sons. My Daughter. Babies. Health. Hours Worked. Hours At Home. Responsibility.  Plus More. This Heart I have never seen. They have a Small Farm outside Ananda. That is where I will stay. Any problems with that Brothers. They will watch me and I will watch them. Haha. Maybe Her and I will be "One of The Lucky Ones". Time will bear this out. I will continue to respond as I can. I am Just a Guy in Alabama that still Believes. A Optimistic Realist. In all things. Also. Best Month to go?? Best Flight to take?? I was thinking Fly to SF. Stay 16 hours rest. Fly out next day?? Or just suck it up and get the best Flight I can strap up and say Later..

Love To All.

Hello To All :

Steve. Thanks. I understand. I feel it. I understand about the Religious so called. Jesus said We Must Forgive. A hard teaching. But. Search the "Mind Of Christ" in Scripture. I understand. His Mind. Not mine. Therein lies the dilemma. I understand about her Son. Her Son will Never leave the Family Home. A lot of Kids like him end up in orphans home. Here it is called a Wonderful Group Home. To each his own. I can only be responsible for my choices. Her Family decided long before me the Plan with that Child and her Mother. He cannot ride or fly anywhere. This has been verified by me. 100. Plus there is So much more to the Story. Private Stuff. That belongs to them. As you say. I will Love the Boy and help where I can. Rolex Watches mean nothing to me. Used as instruments of direction. However if a Man chooses to Sport one he has made a good choice. Right. Just a Rolex. Many better watches than that. But. I understand all you say. No outcome is perfect. But it will be their outcome. Not mine. It is their Blood not mine. I will Do any and all I can to help this little Boy. That you can be sure of. My Son is my Blood. And his immediates are unseen. So. I feel you. Thanks. I will take to Heart all you say. I know you say it and mean it in the best possible light.

Love To All.

Hello To All :

Thanks Man Wonder.

Love To All..

Hello To All :

Bravo Pilot. Unfortunately this is true. Sometimes Full Clarity is not seen. Until the Bridge is Crossed and the Weeds cut down. I know. Do not remind me. It can be Good or Bad. So fly slowly.

Love To All..

haha. Love it..

We wish you all the best William but I have to ask, "My daughter. Babies" What are you planning?

Regardless, it's time to put this thread to bed in my opinion. Come back once you have been there done that etc. Save your time from this site and work more to support your new family/dreams. No more mention of deities, rolex watches or dreams. Do it like many here have done and never sprouted personal beliefs nor financial situations and simply pushed forward, lol, many cry later but did it. As said, time to get your hands dirty and cry later but do consider her child within all this.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.