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swegolf1956

Hi,

I am a retired USAF considering Vietnam.  While in for a checkup in Portland, Or VA Hospital I met a Vietnamese woman.  She was taking my labs.  She saw on my chart that I was a widower. 
While we talked she repeatedly instructed me to, " go to Vietnam and find a wife."  I admit she was a beautiful woman so now I'm curious about Vietnamese women. 
Would they marry an American?
Is there a problem with marrying older men (I'm 58)? 

Any suggestions? 

Where does one start this process?

Regards,
Steven

zabrinale

Hi Steven! It's a very good idea to go to Vietnam to find a wife! Of course they would marry an American! And being 58 is not old! But you must be careful to get a good one & not one that would take advantage of you! First thing to do is to go to Vietnam on a tourist visa & start your search, may be with the help of our friends here on Expat.com. Ask the men on this Blog; they would help you. Good Vietnamese women are less demanding & would take good care of you. So, book a trip to Vietnam and enjoy yourself!
Good Luck to you!

eodmatt

Well now, Some people have hang ups about other nationalities for whatever reasons. Vietnamese people are no different in this respect. The Vietnamese generally however don't have a particular dislike for Americans as far as I can tell.

Many Vietnamese women would like to marry a foreigner.
Some of them see foreigners as a meal ticket for them and their families.
I am married to a Vietnamese lady, whom I knew for six years before we got married. And thats the Key. Get to know them very well before making any commitment.
Vietnam is a great place - modernising fast now.
Getting and renewing visas is a PITA, even after marriage, I mean, it's inconvenient.
Come and stick a toe in the water before committing yourself to anything or anyone.
Generally age is no barrier.

zabrinale

Hi Eodmatt! How are you doing? I haven't read you in a long time! It's good to hear from you. Always have good advices! Welcome back!
Best regards,
Zabrina

ralphnhatrang

Vietnamese women are quite happy to marry foreigners, including Americans.  There are lots of women who will be happy to meet 58 year old men. In fact, you are likely to find  yourself with a surfeit of offers. Asking a woman to go for a cup of coffee is quite normal in Vietnam. In fact, they are likely to ask you first.  Try and learn some Vietnamese, you will find it opens many doors.

There are lots of gold diggers in VN. If a woman asks you for a new motorbike in the first few days, or $300 for her parents, start running in the opposite direction, fast. Beware of women who gamble, they are BAD news.

swegolf1956

Thats kinda funny...  Dice throwing Viet chikkas!  Hahaha.  Motorbike?  Geeze... Sounds like Philippines....

swegolf1956

Well you are very patient, 6 yrs! I probably dont have quite that much time. 
I guess I'm like most men in that I value beauty and youth.  But those qualities have limited durability come dinner time.
Daily chores level the playing field a bit.
Western men can offer a much better life but you have to be a happy person to make it work.

khanh44

Young Vietnamese women marrying foreign men 50+ is quite common in Vietnam. Also common is after they've landed on foreign soil they ditch the foreigner. Just something to keep in the back of your mind since they can seem all nice at the beginning.

If I had to randomly ask a Vietnamese women I'd start during either morning or lunch and the office type ladies.

Things I'd avoid are the night scenes and dating sites. Sure they are some that are legit but it cuts down my chances of getting hurt.

And most important be patient. Don't let the ladies rush you into anything you're not comfortable with. Find out all you need to know about the lady you will marry.

Or depending how well you know that nurse you can ask if she has any family members she'd recommend.

Teacher Mark

I'd suggest starting over here:

Visa Journey

Thanh 84

and also women who are 30 or younger or beautiful are more "expensive"...  ^_^

Festeem

To be honest, marry a decent, and there are more than enough honest ladies, and if you really want, hire/pay a beauty.
Take your time looking around, not in those pole-dancing bars. Have a look at car-shows, and the girls down there
or at other major events with girls as eye catchers.
Invite a good looking one for a coffee and you will be amazed.
Regards.

Thanh 84

daCabbie wrote:

Stupid men marry a 'beautiful' women.....A man who wants to be happy and secure marries a good woman....

My first question is always, 'Can you cook?'....if the answer is no...I say good-bye.

If you want to know smart/good a woman is, look at her shoes? High heels are 'stupid shoes' that 'expensive' women wear....smart shoes (sneakers, sandals, flat soles) means she knows how to walk and doesn't expect a man to carry her everywhere...


High heels are not always "stupid". Do you think most of office workers and business women are wearing those "stupid shoes", too? Just because they want to have a more professional look?

And don't you know that someone has said "Women look more sexy and beautiful in their high heels"? And why do they always try to be more sexy and beautiful, even with uncomfortable high heels? --> Just to make you men proud...

zanchun

Hi Steven,

1. If you want to find a Vietnamese wife, just live in VN for at least 1-2 years to understand our culture, way of life, and Vietnamese women.
2. I've never seen any Vietnamese woman who is 20-30 wants to marry 60's man. Therefore, the women who want to love you quickly obviously are gold diggers. You give money for love. They give love for money ! These kinds of women can be found easily in every bars. You just walk in a bar, they will surround you.
3. Some young women will also truly love old man like you if you're good enough and really look younger at your age, but it's very RARE. The women who are ready for a marriage with 60's man I think are 35-45 years old, or also widows ... They're experienced enough to find a true man for her entire life, her children. These kinds of women can only be found in working, school, daily life...

Thanh 84

daCabbie wrote:

By high heels I am talking about higher than 4 inches...no office woman wears wears stiletto heels...

And any woman who does something uncomfortable just to make her 'man proud'...needs to re-examine her priorities in life...


To me, and I am sure to other women and men, too, who know about shoes, 1 inch is considered high already, and some office women do wear 5 inch high heels, especially secrectaries, manager assistants, or ones who work in fashion industry.... And we do know the advantages of wearing high heels even though they are very uncomfortable sometimes, they are surely not "stupid shoes".

"And any woman who does something uncomfortable just to make her 'man proud'...needs to re-examine her priorities in life..."
--> then you might think that she is so stupid because she just cares about her man more than herself.  --> why does a man always want to find  a GOOD woman?

"Stupid men marry a 'beautiful' women"
--> SNOW WHITE would have never got any proposals because of her beauty, or THE PRINCE was just stupid...lol...

"My first question is always, 'Can you cook?'....if the answer is no...I say good-bye"
--> I can see that you are just looking for A COOK, or maybe A MAID, and if I was her, even if I am a good cook, I would say "No, I can't" to answer your question, and then I would feel happy because it's the best answer and I was not chosen...  :D

Anyway,  if you look for a wife, just spend time to get to know her, don't just judge her by the look or by what she says or does...  ^_^

swegolf1956

DaCabbie.
Some interesting thoughts you shared.  Credit history and checkbook?  Wow.  I'm probably not going to fork over cash for a partner.  And credit history?  Who is checking that! Yikes.
I have a nice income and comfy life, but I have friends in many countries. Australia, Belize, USA of course, Germany and so on that I visit.  And at this age children are a no-go. 
For some reason women still find me attractive.  I'm 6'1" and 190 lbs.  Blonde/blue. 
I realize that dating very young women (20's) would be like raising another child and so looking 30's and up. 
Just keeping an eye out for someone who enjoys the things I do; travel, scuba, golf, good food, good friends.  Don't intend on starting a business or supporting multiple inlaws. 
Should I look elsewhere?

swegolf

Cheers daCabbie,


I'm in the information gathering process now.  Not trying to connect with anyone electronically. 
Having been through a few gals here in Davao i'm thinking of trying a different culture.  And yes if I marry the wife would have a nice monthly death benefit for life when I die thanks to the air force.
But that only happens once and cannot be conveyed if divorced.  You are the first to pick up on that.  Of course the marriage has to be recognized in the US. I don't tell girls about that benefit when dating. 
Yup. No kids.  Got snipped.  Want to travel, explore and luxuriate.  My wife died in 2006 after 7 yrs of cancer.  I have raised the kids.  Last one is off to university in September.  She's a great kid in spite of never knowing her mother.  So its been a little tough but we are good.  We made it.
Now I may take a wife again. 
Might just live in a resort.  What the heck.  Why not. 
Most of the girls I bump in to are spun out about minor things...  The big picture is hard to see I guess.  Most of the girls make off with a trinket thinking they have gotten something (I usually leave something out on purpose). Three months later they are poor.  I'm still having a nice life.  In a way they have done me a favor...

swegolf

Amazed?  How so?
Now I am really curious.

zanchun

@swegolf . You're wise, those girls are a fool. They give love, sex just hope for something better in their life. However, after 3 months, they 're still as poor as before, left behind ; and you go on with beautiful life, looking for other girls. Sadness.  :(

swegolf1956

Love or wise who knows. But when you steal something and run it shows character.  I would rather lose an iphone or watch than marry and see her walk out in the US as many do and lose a lot more.
Sad that people live like that.

khanh44

'Spun out on minor things'

There's a whole topic devoted on that quote of yours. Vietnamese women are notorious for being 'control freaks.' They devour small details and spit it out so the whole world can see.

But that can also be good depending how you view it. I think with your experience you'll know how to appreciate her loyalty and devotion to you. Stand your ground and keep the communication channels open will save a world of head aches.

Coach Athan

Well,

If you are in Hanoi and need a male partner as a sidekick, can i volunteer for a free ride? hahhahahh.......... :D

Coach Athan

dacabbie,

Sorry to disappoint you but I am a Singaporean.  :D

However, trust me that I have ASTOUNDING experience with our subject matter! :cool:

Coach Athan

No harm no foul.

I am still the best offer thus far! hahahhahaha...... :lol:

khanh44

I don't mind being the 3rd wheel if you're looking in Dong Nai area as long I'm fed.

@ussieDave

High heels are not always "stupid". Do you think most of office workers and business women are wearing those "stupid shoes", too? Just because they want to have a more professional look?

And don't you know that someone has said "Women look more sexy and beautiful in their high heels"? And why do they always try to be more sexy and beautiful, even with uncomfortable high heels? --> Just to make you men proud...


+1

eodmatt

Thanks @Zabrina, good to see you again too!

Sorry for my absence, I have been a bit busy with overseas projects since Christmas, but as they leave the planning stage and arrive at the operational stage I hope to hand them over to managers and have some more time for myself and time to spend on Expat.com.

Cheers

Mat

handa711

If you want "fun", no. If you just want someone who can do the housework, yes.

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